You be the judge.

Yes, friends — that unbiased rag known as World Net Daily rises to new heights in fear-marketing to the paranoid, as it shills that latest in technology.* Yes, it’s the . . . NUKALERT!

In this day of nuclear-terror vulnerability, KI4U Inc., markets several products to help families survive any type of nuke incident, including a personal radiation detector that could be the most important "key ring" you’ll carry.

That’s right — NukAlert is a key ring, and it could save your life!

While the device detects harmful fallout from a nuclear-plant accident, it also will detect dangerous radiation levels that could be the result of nuclear terrorism or a "dirty bomb" attack. When radiation is detected, the device chirps a certain number of times. Referring to the back of the monitor lets the owner know how severe the radiation is based on the number of chirps.

Cool! Now I will know when my flesh is being eaten by those silent-but-deadly radiation rays.

A visit to the manufacturer’s website yields this information:

Carried everywhere your keys go, with NukAlert’s 24/7 constant monitoring, you’ll always be promptly alerted to the unseen, but acutely dangerous, levels of radiation if/when present. A benefit of the NukAlert, not to be overlooked, is that it will also confirm when and where those higher levels of radiation are not present, too.

That’s how you know it works! You carry it around…. if it doesn’t beep, and you are still alive, then you have proof that it works! And if it does beep, you can go to your death enjoying the slow pulsing rhythms of your . . . um . . . $160 key chain.

It’s also good for holding keys too, apparently.

* Actually, it’s a rather old technology, but I digress.