World O’ Crap gives us the latest from Pastor Swank, who reminds us that God Speaks Through Earthquakes:

God speaks through earthquakes. God made the Earth. The Earth will answer to God.

This Christ ushered in the Church Age. This Christ will take out the Church Age.

Remember when Christ told his apostles, "Listen, I brought you into this world, and I can take you out"? 

No, wait, that wasn’t Christ, that was St. Bill Cosby, wasn’t it?

Earthquakes now are messages from God for human beings to repent of their sins, find salvation in the coming Christ, and live the holy life.

Those who do not will answer to the "fierce wrath" of the divine. God is not only everlasting love. He is also everlasting anger. Both are in perfect eternal balance. There is not one without the other in the person of God.

So, God is bi-polar.  That explains a lot.

Speaking of Krazy Kristian Kooks, get a load of this quote.  Someone actually said this with respect to a "teaching evolution" debate going on in Pennsylvania:

"We’ve been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture," he said, adding that the school board’s declaration is just a first step.

I like it when unintelligent, uneducated people tacitly admit that their shortcomings by pointing fingers at the "intelligent educated" people on the other side of the issue.  But here’s the question: if we’re talking about — you know — education here, do we really want decisions made by people who are admittedly unintelligent and uneducated?