As a public service, I thought I would pass on some knowledge that I have accumulated by watching the hit ABC series "Lost".  These tidbbits might come in handy the next time your plane crashes on a remote tropical paradise:

1. After a few days on the island, abandon all hope of being rescued at all . . . ever.  Chances are very good that your island, a mountainous tropical paradise that has an area of hundreds of square miles, and beautiful virgin beaches, will never ever be discovered by mankind.  Belittle any idea that strikes of any attempt at self-rescue ("Build a raft?  What are you, crazy?!?")
2. Do not bemoan the fact that you are never going to be rescued.   Don’t even cry for your lost family and friends.  And why should you?  They were just jerks who knew of your terrible secret anyway.
3. Despite what you may think, there are an awful lot of  9-mm handguns that make their way on to a typical airline flight.  If your plane crashes on a deserted island, take the time to find those guns.  You’ll be glad you did.
4. The same goes for huge hunting knives.
5. There will be many dangers, but the one you are most likely to encounter is getting bonked on the head from behind when you are looking the other way.
6. Try to become one of the "central characters" of your band of survivors.  The odds of you surviving is much better.  The core group of twelve is all that matters.  Although not a hard-and-fast rule, good-looking people have a better chance of being in the core group.  The other thirty or so survivors don’t count for shit.  Since you won’t see them much, don’t bother to learn their names. 
7. Also, try to be a minority or a woman.  They don’t die as readily either.
8. Be grateful for the fact that you can always find clothes that look really good on you.  In fact, your wardrobe will be more far more extensive and flattering than what you would normally have.
9. Avoid sleep if possible.  You’ll only have nightmares about your wretched and controversial past.  Exception: If it is your turn to stand watch against the "boogeyman" or whatever threatens your party of survivors, then it is okay to sleep.
10. It is a little known fact that tropical islands have incredible regenerative powers.  You can get bonked on the head from behind, or get in a brutal kickboxing-like fight with a fellow castaway, or — hell, get into a plane crash — and you’ll have scars and bruises, to be sure.  But they won’t last long.
11. If there’s an attractive woman in your party of plane crash survivors, be an asshole to her and everyone else.  Sarcastically call her "Freckles" or "Sweetmeat" or something, even though you don’t know her.  She’ll be yours in a heartbeat.
12. You should always be keenly aware of the fact that many of your fellow passengers have killed a man in their past.  Or been involved some other crime (drugs, etc.).  Trust nobody, except doctors.
13. Children have special psychic powers.  Or something.
14. If members of your survival group get killed by a polar bear, even though you are on a tropical island, shrug and say "Mmm.  Now that’s odd."  And then put it out of your mind.
15. If there is a crazy woman already on the island with her own electrical power supplied by a sub-oceanic cable, and if you have a radio transmitter that needs electrical power, don’t bother her.  She’s crazy.
16. DO NOT, under any circumstances, share information about the island with your fellow castaways.  For example, if you wandering alone in the jungle and it "whispers" to you, just keep it to yourself.  Information is power, and you need to hoard all the power you can.
17. Contrary to stereotype, California surfer "dudes" can sometimes be fat.  Really fat.
18. Take long strolls alone in the jungle.  Do not be detered by the fact that something bad always happens to other people whenever they walk alone in the jungle, like getting bonked on the head from behind.  Do not be detered by the fact that there are loud Tyrannasaurus-like roars coming from the jungle, either.  Don’t worry about the killer polar bears in the jungle.  Or wild boars.  Or crazy psychos.  Or strange whispers.  None of these should prevent you from taking your private jungle perambulations.