Yes, yes, I know. The "War on Christmas" is in danger of being overdone here. But just when I think it has reached the pinnacle of silliness, along comes the next wave of sheer lunacy.
And you know that Bill O’Reilly is riding that wave.
As Brad Blog and Media Matters have pointed out, Corporal O’Reilly has launched his latest offensive at Jon Stewart at the Daily Show. On December 2, O’Reilly showed a clip in which Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee said the following:
But really, let’s face it. All other days bow down to the 25th. It’s the only religious holiday that’s also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services and everyone else can stay home and reflect on the true meaning of separation of church and state.
When O’Reilly introduced the clip on his December 2 show, he said it was from "last night" (meaning, December 1). It wasn’t. The clip was from last year, a fact which was brought into stark relief when a quite pregnant Samantha Bee appeared on last night’s Daily Show. Jon Stewart played the clip again, and then brought on Samantha Bee, who, unlike the Samantha Bee in the clip, was extremely pregnant. "Last night"?!?
But Bill O’Reilly’s bad fact-checking isn’t the issue here. It’s his stupidity. Apparently, he is too dumbass moronic to understand the difference between actual social commentary by the supposed hordes of "librels" seeking to remove all religious connotations from Christmas . . . and satire making fun of paranoid conservatives who feel oppressed and persecuted whenever a checkout clerk utters the words "Happy Holidays" to them.
And The Talent Show has even more:
What’s funnier . . . is that O’Reilly is targeting Jon Stewart. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Bill, but Jon Stewart is a Jew and Jews don’t celebrate Christmas. When you’ve sunk to the point that you’re attacking non-Christians for not celebrating Christian holidays, your witchhunt has completely jumped the shark. I say you hang this one up and prepare for your next crusade. Here’s a suggestion : Did you know that those anti-American bastards in Canada don’t even celebrate the Fourth of July?! If we can stretch that one between May and July sweeps weeks, then we’re good as gold.
War on Christmas — the gift that keeps on giving.
UPDATE: Media Matters has a more detailed blow-by-blowhard, including what Jon Stewart said:
STEWART: But apparently, we liberal secular fags here at Comedy Central —
[laughter]STEWART: — have fired a devastating year-old six-second-long joke that doesn’t barely even make any sense to us anymore across the bow of Christianity. When you think of liberals, your thoughts naturally turn to others who are fighting against Christmas like the Puritans: the first white Americans who banned Christmas celebrations for 22 years in Boston because they deemed all of them unseemly. Godless pricks.
[laughter]STEWART: Mr. O’Reilly also objects, obviously, to the use of the phrase "Happy Holidays" as anti-Christian, although, for some people, there is also a — a celebration of the New Year. So Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays, so there is a plural, which in the English language necessitates the use of the letter "S." Now, I suppose you could say "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" but you probably have (expletive) to do.
[laughter, applause]STEWART: You shorten it to "Happy Holidays."
[laughter]STEWART: Not everybody who says that is anti-Christian, but for those of you who don’t feel like you want to be idiots walking around starting on November 27 saying "Merry Christmas" to people, knock yourself out. You know what, it’s OK. If Bill O’Reilly needs to have an enemy, needs to feel persecuted, you know what? Here’s my Kwanzaa gift to him. Are you ready? All right. I’m your enemy. Make me your enemy. I, Jon Stewart, hate Christmas, Christians, Jews, morality, and I will not rest until every year families gather to spend December 25th together at Osama’s homo-abortion-pot-and-commie-jizzporium.
[applause]
Applause indeed.