Stolen from Atrios:
- Alberto: "President Washington, President Lincoln, President Wilson, President Roosevelt have all authorized electronic surveillance on a far broader scale. "
Aside from the rather obvious issue of, you know, lacking electronic communications at the time, what war was President Washington fighting?
Then there’s this exchange:
BIDEN: Thank you very much.
General, how has this revelation damaged the program?
I’m almost confused by it but, I mean, it seems to presuppose that these very sophisticated Al Qaida folks didn’t think we were intercepting their phone calls.
I mean, I’m a little confused. How did it damage this?
GONZALES: Well, Senator, I would first refer to the experts in the Intel Committee who are making that statement, first of all. I’m just the lawyer.
And so, when the director of the CIA says this should really damage our intel capabilities, I would defer to that statement. I think, based on my experience, it is true — you would assume that the enemy is presuming that we are engaged in some kind of surveillance.
But if they’re not reminded about it all the time in the newspapers and in stories, they sometimes forget.
That’s right. That’s the argument: Our national security depends on al Qaeda members forgetting that the U.S. engages in surveillance. So when the New York Times prints a story that reminds al Qaeda about surveillance, it makes us weaker.
Holy crap. That’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard any attorney general say.
[The Administration] claims al Qaeda has the sophistication to build a nuke, the weapon that numerous nations have tried to achieve for the past half century, most without success. But that same al Qaeda might ‘forget’ that our intel agents are always trying to triangulate their locations via tapped phones…. if our dirty rat newspapers weren’t always reminding them.
SCENE: A small relatively unfurnished apartment in Buffalo. The phone rings.
Qukim: "Hello?"
al-Qadir [on the other end]: "Praise be to Allah"
Qukim: "Praise be to Allah. Death to the infidels. What’s up?"
al-Qadir: "Can you talk?"
Qukim: "Yeah. I was just watching ‘American Idol’. I’m alone.’"
al-Qadir: "Okay. Well, listen up and listen closely. Tomorrow is the night when we strike the heart of the infidels. You will board Flight 26 in Orlando and fly to meet your contact, Muhammad al-Bagh, in the Burger King at the Atlanta airport at 2:30 pm. There you will be given a briefcase."
Qukin: "A briefcase?"
al-Qadir: "Yeah. Black leather. In it, there will be . . . . oh, FUCK!"
Qukim: "What?!?"
al-Qadir: "Shit. Fuck fuck fuck fuck! I don’t believe this!!"
Qukim: "What is it?!?"
al-Qadir: "I just glanced over at the coffee table and saw a newspaper with some headline about Senate hearings on NSA wiretapping."
Qukim: "Oooooooooh. That’s riiiiiight!"
al-Qadir: "I totally forgot that this phone line might be tapped!!"
Qukim: "Me, too."
al-Qadir: "Oh, I’m such an idiot! And here I am just blabbering away…."
Qukim: "We could pretend it was a joke. Say that you were just joking."
al-Qadir: "Well, it’s too late now, moron! They just heard you say ‘Pretend it was a joke’."
Qukim: "But . . . um . . . it is a joke. Ha. Ha. Um. You are such a . . . kidder, al-Qadir."
al-Qadir: "DON’T SAY MY NAME!!! This is bad enough!"
Qukim: "Yeah. Maybe we should hang up?"
al-Qadir: "Okay. Bye."
Qukim: "Bye. Death to the infidels."
al-Qadir: *Groans*
*CLICK*