Thinking of hiring Dick Cheney to come to your speaking event?

Here’s his list of demands (click to enlarge):

"All lights turned on"?  What’s the matter?  He can’t do this for himself?   

And "extra lamps" (in handwriting at the bottom)?  He’s probably going to do some interrogatin’.  Maybe a bare bulb hanging from the ceiling would be best.

"All Televisions turned to FOX News"?  Why does that not surprise me?

And Wonkette (from whom I got this), makes fun of Cheney’s pussy request for "Diet Caffeine Free Sprite".