From behind their comfortable chairs, dressed only in their pajamas, the warbloggers of the right can exude their unique brand of machismo …because — God forbid — it’s not like they’re going to go and fight in a war they support.

The latest faux-macho bedwetter to come to my attention is David Warren, a columnist for the right-wing Real Clear Politics. 

In his latest column entitled "Doing The Enemy’s Work", Warren lambasts the two Fox News journalists who were captured, and later released, by Islamic terrorists.  While in captivity, the Fox journalists were dressed as Arabs and forced to announce that they had changed their names and converted to Islam. 

This didn’t sit well with David Warren, who quickly called them "chestless" cowards:

The degree to which our starch is awash is exhibited in the behaviour of so many of our captives, but especially in these two. They were told to convert to Islam under implicit threat (blindfolded and hand-tied, they could not judge what threat), and agreed to make the propaganda broadcasts to guarantee their own safety. That much we can understand, as conventional cowardice. (Understand; not forgive.) But it is obvious from their later statements that they never thought twice; that they could see nothing wrong in serving the enemy, so long as it meant they’d be safe.

I guess a "good Christian" like David Warren thinks that those journalists should have risked taking a bullet in the head, leaving behind their wives and children in the U.S.

David Warren apparently wouldn’t have done that.  He would have shown those Islamothugs a thing or two, rather than give in to them. 

What a manly man, that David Warren.

Or is he?

From his bio:

The thumb on my right hand still hurts sometimes from when it was broken in a dodgeball game (played with a basketball) in 1968.

My favourite sport, since the age of six, has been cricket.

My favourite novelist is Jane Austen. My favourite "modern" novelist is Iris Murdoch. I think only women should be allowed to write novels.

I am fascinated by seeds, small shells, tiny fishes, & insects.

I like to read, stretched out on a bed or sofa.

I have a strong attraction to prime numbers.

Until the age of nine, I was almost certain that I would grow up to become a painter, or at least some sort of botanical illustrator. …Other early ambitions included astronomer, architect, potter, sailor, poet, & "gentleman".

I prefer cats to dogs; & am in fact somewhat silly around cats.

I dislike juniper berries, even though I am generally very well-disposed towards berries.

My favourite tea is Brook Bond Red Label, blended in, & shipped f.o.b. Calcutta.

38 years later, and he’s still whining about a dodgeball injury to his thumb?  Something tells me that if David Warren were actually in the position of the Fox News journalists, he would never stop peeing his pants.

Glenn Greenwald sums it up:

So much of our public dialogue is dominated by people — exactly like David Warren — desperate to bask in the reflected glory of epic warriors without ever risking anything and to feel powerful and strong and resolute and "full-chested" while sitting at home, protected and safe but still scared of everything. They are people who have an endless need to parade themselves around as courageous nobles without ever doing anything noble or courageous.

Yup.