The site Shelley The Republican is so outlandishly hilarious that I’m not quite sure if it is a parody site or not.  Here’s a smattering — Shelley’s take on Iowa Governor and Democratic presidential hopeful Tom Vilsack.  For those who don’t know, Vilsack was orphaned and placed in a Catholic Church orphanage, alter raised by adoptive parents.  The highlighted sentences are mine.

If there’s one thing you can say about us Conservative Christians it’s that we love our babies.  We love our babies so much that we ain’t gonna have sex until we get married cuz we don’t kill God precious pre-borns and we sure ain’t gonna bring no bastards into this world.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for adoption but if Liberals stopped having sex with everybody they laid eyes on then the only kids that’d need adopting would be the ones whose parents died.

Instead, all sorts of wicked people have meaningless sex, wind up pregnant and either kill their beautiful pre-born child before he or she has a chance to even take its first breath or give the child up for adoption.  And while you may wanna say, “well, at least they didn’t kill the poor pre-born” in the end they still broke God’s law and two wrongs don’t make a right.

You may feel sorry for the poor bastard child, but how many of you want a bastard in the White House?

I sure as heck don’t.

And doubly so if that bastard is Tom Vilsack, probably the first bastard governor of a state.  Tommy don’t know nothing about his mommy and neither do we.  We don’t know nothing about his daddy, either.  She might have been a full blooded Navajo princess.  His daddy could have been a Communist spy.  We know that President George W. Bush comes from a family that takes its commitiment to serving the United States of America seriously.  We know that Bill Clinton’s family was white trash and he wound up marrying a lesbian that killed Vince Foster.  You tell me who was the better President.

Oh, that’s it.  Shelley’s on my blogroll!