(1) This makes me laugh.
(2) Real phone messages from a psycho ex-girlfriend. Not funny at all. Very difficult to know what the "right thing to do" is.
Love how every message starts "Oh, and by the way…."
(3) The Psycho Ex-Girlfriend Test
| 1. | Do you cringe when you hear about your ex-boyfriend and his new love interest? It depends on whether or not I have my own love interest No, I wish the best for him and his new girlfriend I have a voo doo doll of her in my room A little bit.. I miss him sometimes.. |
| 2. | Have you ever spied on your ex-boyfriend? Uh, duh I stake out his apartment on Friday nights. No, I am not a pyscho ass bitch No, but I’ve thought about it Yes, but only to vandalize his home with my girlfriends.. |
| 3. | Do you think you could ever be friends with your ex-boyfriends new girlfriend? Sure, I mean we both have similar taste in men.. Why not? Maybe, if she made an effort Only to get closer to HIMMMMM No way! She’s the reason we broke up! Damn Hoe! |
| 4. | Your at local house party, and in walks your EX with his new girlfriend. What do you do?! Run to the nearest exit, you don’t want him to see you in this!? Wave and Scream his name across the house!! You guys have a lot to catch up on! Inconspicuously trip his girlfriend when they’re walking past you Ignore them.. they suck anyways |
| 5. | Do you STILL have memories of your exboyfriend? (cards, teddybears, photos, locks of hair, blood samples, t-shirts and/or recorded voicemails/ online convos?) – DON’T LIE NOW!! Yes, I look at them all the time – ahhh there’s still a chance for us, I think.. Yea, but nothing too serious: a t-shirt and a card – no big deal. Nah, I threw them all out.. Who needs bad memories? |
| 6. | Have you ever been tempted to hack into your ex-boyfriends email account / voicemail? YES! I remember all his passwords, and I’m guilty of listening/ reading his messages. Anything to be close to him!! Tempted : Yes. Followed Through : Nope. Don’t have the balls. Uh no only pyscho stalkers do that.. |
| 7. | Ok, somehow you’ve gotten a hold of your ex-boyfriend’s online Screen name account – and you see his girlfriend sign online – Do you mess with her? Well – no harm in a little FUN!!!! YESSSSSSSSS – it’s time to dish all the ex-boyfriends, DEEPEST DARKEST SECRETS BUAHAHAHAHAHA No way… I’d sign off right away I already told you that’s for pyscho stalkers!! |
| 8. | Do you constantly check your ex-boyfriends’ blogs, webpages, picture pages, livejournal, and / or myspace? Guilty as charged. Hell, that’s the only reason I came to discover this test in the first place! Yes, for some reason I STILL need to know what’s going on with him Nah, i’m over that asshole. Only when that wave of nostalgia creeps up on me… I remember the good times. |
| 9. | Have you ever tried to break up your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend?? Of course not.. That’s wrong, un-ethical, and bitchy. Yes The BITCH NEEDS TO PAYYYY Yes, but I gave up after I realized they were good for each other No, but I’ve thought about it.. |
| 10. | Does the fact that your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend have both blocked your screen name due to constant annoying IMS and emails phase you at all? Of course not, I just make a fake name on AIM and continue to mess with them Yes, I learned my lesson. I’m done playing games I would never be so annoying that someone would block me.. They blocked me? I fucking knew it… |
| 11. | Have you ever lied to your ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend to make her think less of him? Yes and the stupid bitch believed me too!! HAHA!! All’s fair in love and war… Yeah, but she knew I was lying.. I don’t know why she wouldn’t believe I’m raising his three year old son.. No way. I’m too mature for that. |
| 12. | Have you ever put the moves on your ex-boyfriend only to be humiliated and rejected?? Yes but I know he’ll give in eventually… He’s only playing hard to get Why doesn’t he love me anymore?!!!!!!! No way.. He’s no good for me.. Yes, but he let me down gently.. I seriously thought there was a chance he was still interested.. |
| 13. | Have you ever gotten in an all out fight with your ex’s new girlfriend, where you called her a bitch/hoe/slut/tramp/hussy/cheap whore/homewrecker/cunt/jewish barbie that sucks dick all day long..etc?? uh no.. I’m seriously not insane That fucking Jewish whore… Not only have I called her all those things.. I emailed my ex all the convos. He needs to know the truth about that cheap hussy.. She’s a bitch, But I wouldn’t tell it to her face.. |
| 14. | Have you ever slashed your ex’s tires, egged his house, spread massive rumors about his tiny dick, pretended to be pregnant with his child, arranged lunch dates with his mom, dated his friends, or attempted other desperate means to engage his attention? (Use your imagination) Yes, but I really am hiding his three year old child at my house.. He needs to come visit his son.. er… Charlie Yes, but his dick really is small.. and you’d have lunch with his mom too, if you met her.. A few eggs never hurt anybody No I’ve moved on with my life |
| 15. | Have you ever written letters to your ex’s new girlfriend, pretending to be your ex breaking up with her? Anything to split them up. That bitch has got him blinded.. Yeah, but she didn’t fall for it. There is no way I’d do something that low Why the hell am I still taking this damn test |
| 16. | Do you work at Uno’s Bar and Grill? Yes, who’s asking? No way that place sucks I hear they have good pasta,, That fucking Jewish barbie.. wait till I get my hands on her.. |
| 17. | Have you ever tried to beat that cheap whore (his new girlfriend) up?? I cannot speak to you without my lawyer present My court date is next week… That bitch started it No way, she’d kick my ass. Have you seen that sasquatch?? I’m too Cllllasssyyy for that |
| 18. | Did you make up a fake boyfriend/husband named Juancho to get your ex jealous? Maybe. Are you from immigration? Hey Juancho’s real!!! I invited him to my fake wedding.. the bastard never RSVPed.. He was probably with HER. What the hell is going on? Who the fuck is Juancho? |
| 19. | It’s official. That hussy has tricked him into marrying her. What do you do?! I send them a gift.. I hope they are happy and have lots of babies I send HER a gift.. In an unmarked container.. It’s ticking.. Run bitch.. I kidnap her, throw her in the trunk of my car, and show up at the altar on their wedding day… Seriously, I’m scared.. Help me get out of this test.. |
| 20. | Your ex and his new wife have filed a restraining order against you.. How do you handle this shocking news? Leave them alone.. If the bomb didn’t scare her away, maybe they are meant to be.. Restraining order, my ASS.. I get so much plastic surgery done that they’d never recognize me! Then I move in next door. HELP! The Psycho ex girlfriends are coming to GET ME!!! I like squirrels |
| 21. | Last question.. After taking this test.. Do you think you are a psycho ex girlfriend??? And proud of it… Absolutely not. |