Shorter David Strom: "OMIGOD!!1!! Government of Minnesota is going to the Arctic!!!1!!"
Shorter Burt Prelutsky: "The Nobel Peace Prize would be much more relevant if they gave it to people who waged war."
Shorter David Limbaugh: "Hillary is not indecisive; she’s inconsistent. Oh, and a man, too. Zing!!"
Shorter Lorie Byrd: "I haven’t quite been able to connect the whole Lewinsky ‘blue dress’ thing to Hillary yet, but give me time."
Shorter Mona Charon: "It would be irresonsible for the Attorney General nominee to talk about what he thinks is ‘legal’ and what is ‘illegal’."
Shorter Charles Krauthammer: "Political family dynasties are bad if the family name is Clinton; good if the family name is Bush."
Shorter Brent Bozell III: "They sing a lot in the country of Estonia. Seriously, that’s what I’m writing about today. And I get paid for this, too."
Shorter John Hawkins: "Separation of church and state is only a good thing if we’re talking about liberal religions."
Shorter Donald Lambro: "Is Hillary Clinton electable? I’ll let you know when the elections are over."
And one from Renew America….
Shorter Matt Barber: "My little brother thinks we Christians spend too much time obsessing on the sin of homosexuality. Tch. What a fag."