Shorter David Strom:  "OMIGOD!!1!!  Government of Minnesota is going to the Arctic!!!1!!"

Shorter Burt Prelutsky: "The Nobel Peace Prize would be much more relevant if they gave it to people who waged war."

Shorter David Limbaugh:  "Hillary is not indecisive; she’s inconsistent.  Oh, and a man, too.  Zing!!"

Shorter Lorie Byrd: "I haven’t quite been able to connect the whole Lewinsky ‘blue dress’ thing to Hillary yet, but give me time."

Shorter Mona Charon:  "It would be irresonsible for the Attorney General nominee to talk about what he thinks is ‘legal’ and what is ‘illegal’."

Shorter Charles Krauthammer: "Political family dynasties are bad if the family name is Clinton; good if the family name is Bush."

Shorter Brent Bozell III: "They sing a lot in the country of Estonia.  Seriously, that’s what I’m writing about today.  And I get paid for this, too."

Shorter John Hawkins: "Separation of church and state is only a good thing if we’re talking about liberal religions."

Shorter Donald Lambro: "Is Hillary Clinton electable?  I’ll let you know when the elections are over."

And one from Renew America….

Shorter Matt Barber:  "My little brother thinks we Christians spend too much time obsessing on the sin of homosexuality.  Tch.  What a fag."