I'm glad this information is out there (and yes, I have envisioned this scenario happening to me), but still, it's a bit too much information to grasp.  Plus, I doubt I'll have access to Wikihow.

So I'm just going to remember the following:

(1)  Make sure the wings are on that middle line on that dial thingee

(2)  AFS or AP is the autopilot button.  Push the hell out of that.

(3)  "Mayday, mayday, mayday", being sure to take my finger off the mike button so I can hear a response.

Hopefully, that will be enough to take me out of immediate danger, and be able to speak to someone who can talk me through the rest of it.