"I never had an Anna to braid MY hair." — Willie Nelson, feeling maudlin on the tour bus.
Edith just threw down in a 1916 equivalent of Russ Meyers' SUPERVIXENS. #DowntonPBS
Sorry ladies, for the earlier Molesley tweet. And Molesley? You do NOT mack on Bates' shorty. #TeamBates #DowntonPBS
"My hobbies are croquet, pressing flowers and failing to say what I mean." — Mary. #DowntonPBS
May I make a prediction? Matthey Crawley marries Mary and becomes the first host of the DAILY SHOW. #DowntonPBS
Mary is wearing a dress TWICE?!?! Well, there IS a war on. #DowntonPBS
"I may not be your superior in a Mayfair ballroom…" I have GOT to use that sometime. SOON. #DowntonPBS
Goddamit, now I like Thomas again. #DowntonPBS
"I pulled a child's belly skin over my bare skull for this walk. I hope you don't mind." — Sir Richard. #DowntonPBS
I wish I'D had a Carson when I was a gorgeous, 21 year-old heiress!#DowntonPBS
"MAIDS in the dining room? This is like watching FACES OF DEATH." – @timheidecker, just now. #DowntonPBS
Oh FUCK you, Edith! Fuck your crappy, peplum-effect plum dress and HELP CARSON! #DowntonPBS
Damn, Maggie Smith refuses sauce like a GANGSTA! #DowntonPBS
@pattonoswalt William and Daisy sex would be all elbows, chins, and pardons.
I forgot how much I love British people's pronunciation of "left-enant."#DowntonPBS
Smashing show, Thomas: I fucking hate you again. #DowntonPBS
I want to see The Dowager Countess & O'Brien in a Withering Stare Cage Match. #DowntonPBS
Wait, did they hire H.P. Lovecraft as the new Downton valet? #MrLang #DowntonPBS
Everyone in Mumford and Sons wishes they had that farmer's hat. #DowntonPBS
Mr. CARSON, what are you pulling on?!?! Oh, a wine work. Sorry. Never mind. #DowntonPBS
"Will this war effect my hat choices?" — every woman in the village. #DowntonPBS
rosannecash rosanne cash
by pattonoswalt
Did I mention that Vera Bates is DEAD TO ME? #TeamAnna #DowntonPBS
Here's how brilliant DOWNTON ABBEY is: I feel protective and anxious for an absolute shit like Thomas. #DowntonPBS
I've done one-nighters in Ohio worse than these trenches in the Somme. #DowntonPBS
Good Lord, I feel sorry for Thomas. #DowntonPBS
Hey ladies? Molesly's hot, too. #DowntonPBS
If they remake ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, I elect Maggie Smith to play Snake Plissken. #DowntonPBS
Dear Julian Fellowes — no way to have someone in the background yell, "Baldrick!" during the trench scene? #DowntonPBS
Daisy and William are an adorable couple, but I don't want to watch them fuck. #DowntonPBS
Okay, Bates? You're being a little too goddamn tragic right now. The game is the game. #DowntonPBS
Any self-respecting AgathaChristie villain would strychnine the fuck out of a cup of Assam and solve the "mad wife" poser. #DowntonPBS
Wait, why am I hearing distant traffic? How has L.A. not completely shut down while DOWNTON ABBEY is on? #DowntonPBS
Second Law of Service: A servant shall not allow a scone to go stale, unless it conflicts with The First Law. #DowntonPBS
Mary's sad eyes at the train station are every Belle & Sebastian album at once. #DowntonPBS
Did the Dowager Countess ever throw down in rap battles at Osborn High School in Detroit? #DowntonPBS
Are they hazing the new maid? #DowntonPBS
Woo Maids The Bates Way — THE Christmas bestseller of 2012. #DowntonPBS
I was given a white feather when I refused an extra order of Crazy Bread from Little Ceasar's. #DowntonPBS
Carson & Mrs. Hughes — twice the sexual tension of David & Maddie on MOONLIGHTING. #DowntonPBS
Wait, when did Matthew join Prince's band circa 1984? #DowntonPBS
"I want to rub my face on that goddamn wallpaper." – @aimeemann, just now. #DowntonPBS
morgan_murphy Morgan Murphy
by pattonoswalt
Downtown Abbey makes white nerds tweet like Kanye.
Sybil is the Silverlake/Park Slope trust-funder of 1916. #DowntonPBS
Bates! Walking through train steam! (Should've played him on with Zeppelin's "Black Dog") #iloveBates #DowntonPBS
"Maggie Smith's eyes look CGI." – @MPenn, just now. #DowntonPBS
Nobody lurks like O'Brien! #DowntonPBS
"Sometimes, it feels as if all the men I've ever danced with are dead." Me too, Sybil! #DowntonPBS
DOWNTON ABBEY — it's STAR TREK for tea drinkers! #DowntonPBS
Wait, the Dowager Countess reads Arthur Conan Doyle? #lostworld #DowntonPBS
Maggie Smith is the Brother Mouzone of withering quips. #DowntonPBS
Where are Mrs. Patmore's Janis Joplin sunglasses? #DowntonPBS
@MPenn, sitting next to me right now: "I WANT THAT CAR! I WANT THAT CAR!" #DowntonPBS
I would pay $1000 to watch Elizabeth McGovern butter toast. #DowntonPBS
Oh I DON'T like this new maid's attitude! #DowntonPBS
Can't believe they couldn't manage an Cpt. Edmund Blackadder cameo in the cold open. #DowntonPBS