The Wrath of Khan

Ken AshfordElection 2016Leave a Comment

Although most of the networks and even the cable news channels did not carry the moving speech of Khizr Khan (the father of the Muslim-American soldier killed in Iraq), I’m sure they wish they did.  Mr. Khan and his wife were all over the news channels all weekend, and on Morning Joe this morning, doing what they did at the DNC convention, calling out Trump for his lack of sacrifice.  This weekend, they also called on House Majority Leader Ryan and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to repudiate Trump’s attacks on Khan and Muslim-Americans.

Trump, for his part, made things worse by going on This Week with George Stephanopolis and explaining all the sacrifices he has made.

It is really appalling that Trump considers being successful at things to be a “sacrifice”.  Scary and appalling.  No wonder a group of Gold Star families has also issued a statement demanding an apology from Trump.

Ryan and John McCain and VP candidate Mike Pence have all issued statements honoring Mr. and Mrs. Khan and their loss, and leaving it at that.  So did McConnell and Bush and most other prominent Republicans

Trump cannot seem to do that, which is why it dominated the entire weekend, and could go on for a few more days.  Josh Marshall is correct when he writes:

Any political operative or communications professional, indeed anyone with some moral imagination and common sense would know how to handle this situation. Assuming you wanted to maintain the policies blocking Muslim immigration, you would simply say: “I grieve for the Khans’ loss and I very much respect their opinion and their courage. But I believe the policy I have outlined is necessary for our national security for the following reasons …”

Simple. Wouldn’t solve the original offenses that lead to their speech against Trump. But it would cut off more damaging engagement and at least suggest (whether or not it were true) that Trump is a man of empathy who believes that harsh policies are necessary.

You will never win a fight savaging the parents of a dead soldier. So it’s a fight you simply don’t engage in. A smart terrible person would get this and say something along the lines of the quote I noted above. Trump doesn’t seem terribly bright. But this isn’t about intelligence as we test it with logic puzzles. Realizing that this would be the only way to respond requires a level of self-awareness a narcissist lacks and a degree of impulse control Trump simply does not have. Empathy or any moral consciousness would get you there too. But remember, we’re focusing here on the difference between a smart terrible person and a dumb terrible person both of which lack those qualities.

When Khizr Khan and his wife Ghazala appeared at the Democratic convention they attacked and shamed Trump. He no doubt experienced it that way and the chorus of approbation the Khans received from virtually every part of the political spectrum deepened his sense of humiliation and loss of status and standing. As I’ve noted in so many contexts, the need to assert dominance is at the root of all of Trump’s actions. His whole way of understanding the world is one made up of dominators and the dominated. There’s no infinite grey middle ground, where most of us live the vast majority of our human relationships. That’s why even those who are conspicuously loyal are routinely humiliated in public. In that schema, Trump simply had no choice but to lash out, to rebalance the equation of dominance in his favor. It’s an impulse that goes beyond reason or any deliberation. That’s what left so many would-be or maybe allies flabbergasted at how or why he would have walked straight into such a buzzsaw of outrage.

For a narcissist like Trump, the rage and emotional disequilibrium of being dominated, humiliated is simply too much to bear. He must lash out. What he said in one of his tweets responding to the Khans is perhaps the most telling. “I was viciously attacked by Mr. Khan at the Democratic Convention. Am I not allowed to respond?” The use of the adverb “viciously” is a good tell that Trump is a narcissist. But setting that aside, most people would know that the answer is “No, you’re not.” Certainly you’re not allowed to respond in the sense of attacking back. Their son died serving the country. You don’t get to attack them.

Perhaps it boils down to something much simpler.  Trump lacks empathy.  He can see his own loss (someone going after his reputation), but cannot fathom others’ loss (a son dying).  Or at least he cannot place them on the same scale.

This makes him a sociopath.  Technically and literally, by the DSM-V, a sociopath.  It is utterly frightening how close this man is to running the country (even if he is not).

Trump is fueling the fire this morning, by tweeting

A Trump campaign surrogate is going even further:

Ugly.

It’s getting to the point where endorsement of Trump carries huge political risk.  I’m sure many in the GOP know that, and are very nervous about it.  That’s why you see so many condemn Trump.  But they still endorse him.  That’s going to leave a mark I expect.