Last year the cost of 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping… and a partridge in a pear tree was, collectively, $78,100.

This year, it's going to run you $86,609.

True, some of the items are cheaper this year.  The five gold rings, for example, went from $395 each to $350 each.  Lower food prices mean that the French hen and geese-a-laying are cheaper.

The main culprit for the overall hike appears to be those friggin' swans, up 33% to $5,600.  And the wage-earners (drummers, pipers) are up 3%, except for the milkmaids.  The milkmaid wages jumped 12% because Congress passed a hike in the minimum wage last year.

And — this is just me talking off the top of my head — if I was going to spend $86,609 on Xmas gifts for my "true love", I think she might appreciate different gifts.  After all, those drummers can be pretty loud, and they upset the swans.  So do the ladies dancing.