In case you haven’t heard, J.K. Rowling made a bit of news last week at a book signing:

In front of a full house of hardcore Potter fans at Carnegie Hall in New York, Rowling, sitting on the stage on a red velvet and carved wood throne, read from her seventh and final book, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," then took questions. One fan asked whether Albus Dumbledore, the head of the famed Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft,  had ever loved anyone. Rowling smiled. "Dumbledore is gay, actually," replied Rowling as the audience erupted in surprise. She added that, in her mind, Dumbledore had an unrequited love affair with Gellert Grindelwald, Voldemort’s predecessor who appears in the seventh book. After several minutes of prolonged shouting and clapping from astonished fans, Rowling added. "I would have told you earlier if I knew it would make you so happy."

This led to a predictable amount of conservative outrage.  At Redstate, dvdmsr says the revelation means that “Dumbledore was more flawed than I thought.”  At another prominent conservative blog, Newsbusters, they claim that the revelation somehow vindicates the late Rev. Jerry Falwell, who was showered with ridicule in 1999 after declaring that one of the Teletubbies, Tinky Winky, was gay. Mark Finkelstein, a Republican official in upstate New York, writes that “somewhere, Jerry Falwell is smiling”.

But the best outrage comes from "Blogs 4 Brownback":

At last the author, a Ms. J.K. Rowling, revealed the revolting truth: Dumbledore is a gay homosexual who doesn’t deserve to live on G-d’s green earth…

Well, I have some good news for the irate people at Blogs 4 Brownback: Dumbledore doesn’t live on God’s green earth.

Know why?

He doesn’t live at all.  He’s fictional.

Yup, it’s true.  He doesn’t exist in reality.

UPDATE:  "Brownbeck" type fixed.