Cheney Speaks

Ken AshfordBush & Co.Leave a Comment

Of course, his first words on the shooting incident will be on Bush-friendly Fox News.*

I suspect it will go something like this:

HUME:  Do you have any regrets about the incident?

CHENEY:  Oh sure.  I wish it never happened.  I wish he had let us all know he was out there in the field.  Obviously, if I had known that, I wouldn’t have pulled the trigger.  So . . . wishing all those things to be true, means that I "regret" that it happened.

HUME:  What about the media response to this?

CHENEY:  Well, you know how leftist the media is.  They just want to bash this Administration.  They’ll take something like me shooting a 78 year old man in the face, and turn into something, you know, bad.

HUME:  But why did it take you so long to go public?

CHENEY:  Obviously, my first concern was with Harry himself.  Shooting someone in the face is a very distressing matter, and very personal to both the shooter and the guy who got shot.  So my thoughts were with Harry for the first few days, not with the J– New York Times.  I think all good Christians can understand that.

HUME:  You are so great.  Seriously.

CHENEY:  Thank you.

HUME:  No, I mean it.  Can I get you anything?  How can we in America help you through this difficult time?

CHENEY:  Pray.  Stay the course.  Don’t get distracted by people wanting to know what their government is doing.  I love America, and because I do, you can rest assured that you can trust me.

HUME:  Is your chair comfortable?

CHENEY:  It’s fine.

HUME:  You can have mine.

CHENEY:  No, I’m good.

HUME:  Well, thanks for coming on and giving us the real truth.  Ladies and gentlemen, Richard Cheney, the Vice President Of These United States!!!

CHENEY:  God Bless you, Brit.  God bless Fox News.  But most of all, God bless America, and God Bless God.

*  What a pussy!