Goldberg: “Conservatism Is A Mess”

Ken AshfordRight Wing Punditry/IdiocyLeave a Comment

I almost never agree with NRO columnist Jonah Goldberg, but I think he’s absolutely spot-on in his assessment of the conservative wing of American politics (a wing to which he belongs).  A snippet:

Much of this chaos is attributable to the fact that this is a very flawed field, or at least one ill-suited for the times we’re in. If a camel is a horse designed by committee, then this year’s Republican field looks downright dromedarian. This slate of candidates has everything a conservative designer could want – foreign policy oomph, business acumen, Southern charm, Big Apple chutzpah, religious conviction, outsider zeal, even libertarian ardor – but all so poorly distributed. As National Review put it in its editorial endorsement of Romney (I am undecided, for the record): "Each of the men running for the Republican nomination has strengths, and none has everything – all the traits, all the positions – we are looking for."

But conservatives should contemplate the possibility that the fault lies less in the stars – or the candidates – than in ourselves. Conservatism, quite simply, is a mess these days. Conservative attitudes are changing. Or, more accurately, the attitudes of people who call themselves conservatives are changing.

***

In other words, there’s a huge crowd of self-described conservatives standing around the Republican elephant shouting, "Do something!" But what they want the poor beast to do is very unclear. And it doesn’t take an expert in pachyderm psychology to know that if a mob shouts at an elephant long enough, the most likely result will be a mindless stampede – in this case, either to general election defeat or to disastrously unconservative policies, or both.

The traditional conservative believes that if you don’t have a good idea for what an elephant should be doing, the best course is to encourage it to do nothing at all. Alas, the chorus shouting, "Don’t just do something, stand there!" shrinks by the day.

(Emphasis mine)

RIP Bobby Fischer

Ken AshfordIn PassingLeave a Comment

An odd man, rabid anti-Semite (even though he was most likely Jewish, despite his denials), but a hell of a chess player, is dead.

Hen notoriously dropped off from the face of the earth around 1975, leading to much speculation in the chess world, and the foundation for the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer.

A Bobby Fischer quote: "This is all wonderful news" (9/11/01, upon learning that the Pentagon was attacked)

Huckabee And Wallace

Ken AshfordElection 2008Leave a Comment

Arkansas governor, now:

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee told South Carolina voters Thursday that the government had no business making decisions over the Confederate flag.

"You don’t like people from outside the state coming in and telling you what to do with your flag," Huckabee said at a Myrtle Beach campaign event. "In fact, if somebody came to Arkansas and told us what to do with our flag, we’d tell them what to do with the pole, that’s what we’d do."

Later, in Florence, he repeated the remarks. "I know what would happen if somebody comes to my state in Arkansas and tells us what to do, it doesn’t matter what it is, tell us how to run our schools, tell us how to raise our kids, tell us what to do with our flag — you want to come tell us what to do with the flag, we’d tell them what to do with the pole."

Alabama governor, then*:

Wallace02

* From a George Wallace campaign comic book, circa 1960

Of Interest To RR.com Users

Ken AshfordEconomy & Jobs & DeficitLeave a Comment

Time-Warner is clearly thinking about a new price structure for Internet usage, based on how much you "download".

"Download", I suspect, doesn’t mean actually copying files to your computer.  It really means "bandwidth", because there’s no way for Time-Warner to know whether a stream of video is merely being watched on your monitor, or being saved to your disk.

In any event, a move away from a flat-fee service is bad for consumers.  Can you imagine a cable company charging you higher rates if you watched more television?

Here’s the story:

Time Warner Cable will experiment with a new pricing structure for high-speed Internet access later this year, charging customers based on how much data they download, a company spokesman said Wednesday.

The company, the second-largest cable provider in the United States, will start a trial in Beaumont, Texas, in which it will sell new Internet customers tiered levels of service based on how much data they download per month, rather than the usual fixed-price packages with unlimited downloads.

Company spokesman Alex Dudley said the trial was aimed at improving the network performance by making it more costly for heavy users of large downloads. Dudley said that a small group of super-heavy users of downloads, around 5 percent of the customer base, can account for up to 50 percent of network capacity.

Dudley said he did not know what the pricing tiers would be nor the download limits. He said the heavy users were likely using the network to download large amounts of video, most likely in high definition.

It was not clear when exactly the trial would begin, but Dudley said it.

Jonah Goldberg on TDS

Ken AshfordRight Wing Punditry/IdiocyLeave a Comment

Even without (apparently) reading the book, Stewart pounces on some of the fundamental flaws of Goldberg’s dreadful new book Liberal Fascism:

CoverThe book, whose thesis is that liberals are really fascists, is generating a lot of pixels on blogs.  Some of the criticism is of the let’s-have-some-fun-with-Goldberg variety; others are quite serious takedowns (most notable, this review by Dave Neiwart [also check out the follow-ups on his blog])

Some of Goldberg’s arguments are stupifying devoid of logic.  Foe example, he notes that the fascist Nazis advocated health foods and organic lifestyles.  So too, he points out, do modern day liberals.  And therefore, he concludes, liberals are fascists.

He seems to confuse fascism, loosely defined as totalitarian regimes infused with total (and violent) annihilation — politically and militarily — of all oposition, with statism, which is the notion that governments can solve problems.  So Hillary’s book "It Takes A Village" becomes, to Goldberg, a fascist tract.

He’s a somewhat smarter and better writer than, say, Ann Coulter, but his book is cut from a finer grade of the same cloth.

I Really Really Don’t Like The Disneyfication Of Broadway

Ken AshfordTheatre8 Comments

Transferring a popular family-friendly Disney film into a stage musical is usually a box-office guarantee (Tarzan being an exception), but the result is usually quite crappy (The Lion King being an exception). 

But what are theatregoers actually paying $200-plus bucks to see?

Special effects.  I mean, let’s be honest: that’s what it’s all about.  Lights, huge moving sets, etc.  What is often missing (or relegated to second/third tier status)?  Great performances.  Interesting writing.

In short, the Broadway stages are going from razzle-dazzle with substance to razzle-dazzle without it.

Honestly — it’s like the trend of taking a popular movie and turning it into an amusement park ride.  And most of these shows coast on the success of the movie — not on their internal merits.  For example, would anyone go see The Little Mermaid if the movie hadn’t been made?  I suspect not.

Now, it’s true that most musicals — even the non-Disney ones — are based on something else: a book, a movie, etc..  But in most of those cases, the original material lent itself to the musical format.  So, Hairspray, yes.  Mermaid, no.

It’s also true that mounting an original Broadway musical is a risky proposition, and it helps to have the show "pre-sold" by it popularity in the film world.  And I wouldn’t have a problem with many of these shows being stage at Disneyworld or Disneyland, or even on a Disney cruise.  They just don’t belong in the center of the theatrical world.  Not so many of them, anyway.  The net effect is to squeeze out innovative "new" material.  Or even good material.  We shouldn’t have to wait fourteen years for a Rent or a Spring Awakening to come along.

The counterargument is that Disney theatrical shows bring new audiences (particularly young people) to the musical theatre.  But I don’t believe that.  I don’t think it creates any more theatrelovers than Weird Al Yankocvich’s "Another One Rides The Bus" creates Queen fans. 

What happens instead is this:  Joe and Jane Sixpack of Bumbleville, Kansas take a once-in-a-lifetime trip to New York City.  They feel that, while there, they must see a Broadway show.  But what show?  They peruse the listings.  Grey Gardens?  What’s that?  Well , if they’re going to plop down $400 for a night at theatre, they’re not going to risk it on something which they might not like.  "Hey!  It’s The Little Mermaid.  I liked that movie!"  And they go and are wowed by all the color and lights (what the New York Times calls "more parade than narrative", which encapsulates my chief complaint with most of these Disney shows).  "It’s just like the entertainment on Carnival Cruise lines, only with more production values!".  Do they enjoy the show?  Let’s say they do.  But have they become theatrelovers?  No!  They’ve just become bigger fans of the movie (and the songs) that they enjoyed before they entered the theater.  It’s not like they’re more like to see Grey Gardens (or something unfamiliar to them) after having seen The Little Mermaid.

Anyway …what got me on this soapbox?  This:

Shrek_2

Coming to Broadway in the fall of 2008.

And yes, I know Shrek isn’t a "Disney" movie.  But it runs with the same crowd.  Here’s my nightmare vision of the top-grossing bland touristy Broadway musicals of the 2010-2011 season: 

  • Mary Poppins
  • Shrek: The Musical
  • The Little Mermaid
  • The Lion King
  • Toy Story: The Musical
  • Cars: The Musical
  • Aladdin: The Musical
  • Pochahantas
  • Finding Nemo: The Musical
  • Beauty and the Beast (Revival)
  • A Bug’s Life
  • Ratatouille: The Musical
  • Lady and the Tramp

…with Toy Story 2: The Musical in out-of-town headed-for-Broadway runs.

Half of these musicals will require actors to use rollerskates.

And people will flock to them.  And noone will mourn the Wickeds.

Mount Saint Helen’s Warming Up Again

Ken AshfordDisastersLeave a Comment

Mt_st_helensIt’s been 28 years…

Geologist John S. Pallister was flying over Mount St. Helens when he spotted something unusual.

Pallister, a private pilot who works in the hazards section of the U.S. Geological Survey’s Cascades Volcano Observatory, noticed a line of steam coming from a zipper-like fracture line atop the growing lava dome in the crater of the southwest Washington volcano.

"It was interesting enough to take some pictures," Pallister told The Columbian newspaper of the Sunday flight.

After landing, he learned that a 2.9-magnitude earthquake had registered on seismographs at the observatory in Vancouver. That was followed by a small tremor that lasted nearly an hour and a half, an unusually long period, punctuated by a second quake of 2.7 magnitude – all in the same period in which he saw the steam.

Along with the shake, rattle and roll, tiltmeters registered alternate ground swelling and deflation near the lava dome, which has been growing in the crater since the fall of 2004.

All are typical signs that magma, superheated gases or both are moving through conduits beneath St. Helens, which blew its top with devastating force on May 18, 1980, leveling 230 square miles of forest and killing 57 people.

Tough on Terrorism

Ken AshfordWar on Terrorism/TortureLeave a Comment

Former Republican Congressman indicted on terrorism charges:

A former congressman and delegate to the United Nations was indicted Wednesday as part of a terrorist fundraising ring that allegedly sent more than $130,000 to an al Qaeda and Taliban supporter who has threatened U.S. and international troops in Afghanistan.

The former Republican congressman from Michigan, Mark Deli Siljander, was charged with money laundering, conspiracy and obstructing justice for allegedly lying about lobbying senators on behalf of an Islamic charity that authorities said was secretly sending funds to terrorists.

A 42-count indictment, unsealed in U.S. District Court in Kansas City, Missouri, accuses the Islamic American Relief Agency of paying Siljander $50,000 for the lobbying — money that turned out to be stolen from the U.S. Agency for International Development.

Siljander, who served two terms in the U.S. House of Representatives, was appointed by President Reagan to serve as a U.S. delegate to the United Nations for one year in 1987.

To be fair, all the alleged aiding and assistance happened long before 9/11, when it was okay for Republicans to fund Islamofascists.

CORRECTION:  My misread.  All the alleged aiding and assistance happened after 9/11, after it stopped being okay for Republicans to fund Islamofascists.

How To Make A Blog Work

Ken AshfordBloggingLeave a Comment

Reuters:

A successful blog "kind of opens the kimono and from a brand point of view lets people know who you are," says Rob Frankel, a Los Angeles-based branding consultant who has advised clients ranging from Re/Max to Honda Motorcycles and Sea World.

A promise to my handful of readers: at no point will I ever — ever — appear in a kimono (closed or open) — on this blog.  Success be damned.

I thought you might find that reassuring….

Broadway Web Sites

Ken AshfordTheatreLeave a Comment

The New York Times has an article today about Broadway web sites.  It not only discusses the rise in poularity of websites for each show, but the rise in Broadway fan sites.

Of particular note is Broadwayspace.com, which is kind of like MySpace but with a Broadway theme and catering to theatre fans.  (From my brief visit there, high schoolish fans, but that may just be the snob in me).

One website not mentioned, but a must for musical theatre fans: BlueGobo.  You’ll often find Broadway musical videos (usually of Tony Award show performances) there that you won’t find on YouTube.

The American Dream

Ken AshfordEconomy & Jobs & Deficit, RepublicansLeave a Comment

Republicans don’t get it:

At a press conference today unveiling the stimulus proposal, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) justified the conservative plan to give tax breaks to corporations — instead of working Americans — by arguing that people actually like working long hours:

I am so proud to be from the state of Minnesota. We’re the workingest state in the country, and the reason why we are, we have more people that are working longer hours, we have people that are working two jobs.

Bachmann’s version of the American Dream is apparently working two full-time jobs and struggling to get by.

***

Bachmann may be taking her cues from President Bush, who on Feb. 4, 2005, told a divorced mother of three: “You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.”

I don’t know a single American who thinks that America is GREAT because you have to work multiple jobs in order to get by.  That’s not what one would expect from a country which supposedly has the highest standard of living.

Another thing though.  How can the Republican party talk this blather and still represent itself as the party of "family values"?  How can parents instill values when they have to be away from it working so many jobs just to make ends meet?

The “New” List Of Blogger Cliches

Ken AshfordBloggingLeave a Comment

From here:

The "New" List of Tired Old Clichés:

In Which I: In which I suggest that the "in which I" construction has had it’s 15 minutes. Really. In which it was enough. In which it has been beaten to death. In which it is so tiresome, even mocking it is annoying. I must stop this breathless tirade, however, and MoveOn.

Breathless: Breathless prose, breathless objections, breathless reporting. I don’t know if this is a result of Global Warming, but I think it is high time we get some air back. I’ve had it up to here. Start breathing, ladies and gentlemen. No more breathless … ness. This abused adjective has literally lost all meaning.

Literally: The word literally is literally being drug in the street and shot every five minutes. It has literally been corrupted worse than William Jefferson (D-La). It has literally gotten up at 11:00 PM, half an hour before it went to bed the night before, ate cold poison for breakfast, licked the highway clean with its tongue, worked 28 hours at mill, and paid the miller for permission to work, and when it got home, its father beat it to death with a broken glass bottle and danced about on its grave. I literally need people to stop using literally as if it literally is the word figuratively or virtually the same as virtually. That is, quite literally, Enough. Of. That.

Single. Word. Sentences.: We. Have. Got. To. Stop. Doing. This. Sure. we. like. doing. it. Yes. I. can. hear. the. emphasis. in. my head. But. for. goodness. sake. literally. everyone. is. doing. it. Talking. thus. is. sure. to. leave. us. breathless. It’s. time. to. quit. while. we. are. ahead. We. don’t. need. period. gate.

Gategate: Watergate. Filegate. Chinagate. Plamegate. Rathergate. Hookergate. Troopergate. Zippergate. Piegate! (That last one was personal. Steal my last piece of pie, you get a gate named after you). Yes, those were single word sentences. Is this literally the only way to explain that something is a scandal anymore? Has it come to this? Tired. Of. It. It’s time to retire the gate suffix. Gate is the new breathless.

New is the new old: 30 is the new 40? Google is the new Microsoft? Unless boring is the new interesting, it’s time to put this out of its misery. Purple is the new pink? Really? Purple. The new pink. The. New. Pink. Really?!?? REALLY???!??!?

Really?: Really? Are you really going to use really? You’re really going to do a bit that Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers literally tied to a pole and lashed to death … Really? Blogs don’t really have to take the fall for this, but, here’s a hint: we really can put a stop to it.

Here’s a Hint: Here’s a hint, shut up! Affected sarcasm and anti-hip hipness are, of course, uber hip. We all do this, but, here’s a hint: when you beat something to death, the affected unhipness is replaced by actual unhipness. Not. Cool. Here’s a hint: Your "snark" is the new "lame".

"Clever" use of quotes: Meh. Let’s face facts. This "cliché" is essentially immortal. It makes our "points" seem "smarter", it’s "subtle" and people "like" it. It’s the "sarcasm", stupid.

It’s the laziness, stupid: This one isn’t used around these parts as much. The kossacks still find it a useful convention but then, kos kids aren’t exactly known for great "conventions". This one needs to be literally destroyed. And yes, I have been ending each of these items with a segue to the next item on the list. Figured that one out all by yourself, did you?

Figured this one out, did you?: The purpose of a phrase like "figured that one out all by yourself, did you" is clear. It’s supposed to be sarcastic and cutting; a biting indication of the target’s Johnny-come-lately status in re whatever topic you’re breathlessly discussing, but here’s a hint: when it is a used-up, washed-out cliché, the bite is gone. Old "sarcasm" is the new embarrassing comment, stupid. At the end of the day, it just doesn’t get it done.

At the end of the day: At the end of this list is the one that grates the most on my nerves. At the end of the day … what? "WHAT?" What at the end of the day? Better yet, why at the end of the day? Do you really want to keep using this? Really?!? Or how about "when it comes right down to it" or "when it’s all said and done" … I’d like to know it was going to stop. At the end of the day. Today.

I plead guilty to some of these, but I admit I get annoyed at the misuse of "literally".