31%

Ken AshfordBush & Co.Leave a Comment

President Bush’s approval rating, a record low, in a new American Research Group poll. His approval is 33 percent in a new Rasmussen poll, another record low.

But I don’t want to be pessimistic about record lows, so here’s a record high: gas prices

Gas prices hit record levels in the Triad on Tuesday, surging past previous highs set in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

The average price for a gallon of unleaded jumped to $3.134 , an increase of nearly three cents from Monday, AAA Carolinas reported.

The previous high, $3.129 , had been set Sept. 6, 2005.

The national average jumped a penny Tuesday, reaching $3.209, also a record.

But you knew that didn’t you?

Oh, How I LOVE Kaye Grogan!

Ken AshfordRight Wing Punditry/IdiocyLeave a Comment

My favorite conservative columnist has come back after a far-too-long absence.  Guess what?  She’s really riled about something.  Who would have thought???  She’s angry about immigrants, a favorite topic of hers.  Here’s how she starts:

While everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off, sending "say no to amnesty" faxes to their representatives, the only way to stop the out-of-control congress is to launch a massive recall program with the required signatures to replace the hard heads immediately — in every state.

Sputter, sputter, garrr-umph!

By the time the next election rolls around our beloved America may have already been given away to lawless illegal immigrants, who will benefit greatly from their prior disrespect for our immigration laws.

That’s right.  In less than two years, the ENTIRE country (Alaska and Hawaii included) will be in the hands of those greasy Mexicans.

A bit alarmist, yes?

Kaye rebuts some arguments:

How many times have we heard the lazy agricultural farmers making the pitch: if they don’t have Mexicans to pick crops, the cost of food will triple? What’s wrong with their cotton-picking fingers?

Well, Kaye.  It’s hard for a single farmer to pick several hundred acres of food.  They’re not lazy — they just are few in number.

Well, to them I say: as long as there is dirt around, I will grow and pick my own tomatoes, etc.

Etc.?  You grow cotton, Kaye?

Besides, people would be better off paying $6 for a pound of tomatoes in comparison of being taxed beyond oblivion, so millions of foreigners can enjoy the good life at the expense of taxpayers.

Ah, yes.  The good life.  You know, she’s right.  I’m so SICK of these Mexican foreigners coming into our country, taking all the good seats at the country club, lying back on their fat asses and sipping gin and tonics by the pool.  They have it sooooooo easy and lush.

Later, Kaye launches into some tangents about, well, whatever crosses her head:

Let’s look at a few of the provocative hot-issue buttons, that have failed miserably in the past. Since the legalization of whiskey, control is a big joke.

Right.  Whiskey is legal, so we don’t control it.  It’s not a failure of control, Kaye — it’s decision not to control it.

The drug war is an even bigger joke. Medicinal drugs are abused — much less street drugs.

Well, screw it, then.  Let’s just outlaw Tylenol, Kaye.  Is that what you’re saying?

Many schools are promoting and pimping sex in sex education classes to our young children in-between sexual abuse from many educators.

I’ve heard they occasionally do alegbra, though.

Later, Kaye writes:

The American people are not required to provide other nationalities a chance to pursue the American Dream in our country.

Right on!  Because we occupied this land first!!

And to Senator Lindsey Graham I say: "I beg your pardon — this is my country!…and if you want to call this bigotry — go right ahead!"

(Pssst, Kaye.  It is bigotry, at least in your case.  There are a lot of different viewpoints on the issue of immigration, but your viewpoint rests on one undenable truth: you just don’t like them)

And then there’s this:

Here’s the brutal facts: If over 47 million babies had not been wiped out through atrocious abortions — the amount of taxes this many people would have generated, and the jobs they would have filled here in America, would have made a tremendous difference in our economy.

Except, um, that those 47 million taxpayers also would have been tax consumers.  They would need to be fed, attend public schools, have Social Security, etc.

THEN we get to Kaye’s paranoia:

But the real reason behind changing the geometric numbers and faces in America, is designed and formulated to replace the white conservative Christian citizens, with people the government feels they have a better chance of creating a dictatorship type of environment.

"Dammit!  America is supposed to be a Christian dicatorship!  All that crap about ‘all people created equal’ and ‘give us your tired, you poor, your hungry, yearning to breathe free’ — that’s all nonsense!!"

If this type of scenario wasn’t so dangerous — it would be quite amusing to watch as everything blows up in their faces. Unfortunately, there is nothing amusing about watching our beloved country going down the drain faster than a newly unstopped sink.

Damn ferners!  Sputter, sputter!!

How Does A Kangaroo Keep Cool?

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

I’m a bit intrigued by Google’s new offering: Google Trends.  It’s a service (I guess you can call it that) which shows "surges" in what people are googling, but it employs an algorithm that takes out the obvious stuff (like "weather" or "porn").

I check it out right now, and #4 on the trend list is: how does a kangaroo keep cool.  Why, I wonder, are people all of a sudden interested in this?  Here’s the graph showing the surge:

Viz

Google Trends also notes that many of these Google searches on keeping kangaroos cool come from the Tampa and Orlando area.

My guess: it’s a trivia question on some morning talk show or something.

There also seems to be a lot of interest in harry belafonte s daughter

A Good Reason To Watch Idol Tonight

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

I no longer have any interest, since Melinda Doolittle was voted off last week.  But then again, maybe this might be worth checking out:

Paula Abdul broke her nose over the weekend after she fell while trying to avoid stepping on her Chihuahua, her publicist said Monday.

A Heavy Sleeper Indeed

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

Man sleeps through gunshot to the head:

A small-caliber bullet struck the 37-year-old Altizer man in the head as he slept Sunday morning, but he didn’t realize it until he awoke nearly four hours later and noticed blood coming from his head, said Cpl. R.H. McQuaid of the Cabell County Sheriff’s Department.

The bullet that struck him was one of five that someone sprayed across his mobile home and truck at about 4:20 a.m. Sunday, McQuaid said. The one the struck Lusher apparently lost velocity as it traveled through two walls.

"We’re just glad he didn’t suffer any life-threatening injuries with a head wound," he said.

Lusher came home from a night on the town about an hour before he was shot while lying in bed, McQuaid said.

Science To The Rescue!!

Ken AshfordScience & TechnologyLeave a Comment

HamsterNew Scientist is reporting that extremely small doses of Viagra help hamsters deal with their jet lag:

Hamsters that received small doses of sildenafil, sold under the name Viagra, adjusted more quickly to laboratory simulations of a six-hour time-zone change than animals in the control group.

The researchers found that a single dose of sildenafil helped the animals adapt up to 50% faster than usual.

Well it’s about time that somebody looked into this!!  I just hate it when I take my hamster on international flights to Europe, only to find that he’s soooo groggy and grumpy that he won’t even run in the wheel!

Pressure Getting To McCain?

Ken AshfordElection 2008Leave a Comment

This isn’t very presidential:

On Friday, during a back-room discussion on the new immigration-reform package, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz) started shouting at Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas), who dared to disagree with him on the legislation. Apparently, McCain accused Cornyn of raising petty objections, and Cornyn accused McCain of having dropped in without taking part in the negotiations. “F**k you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room,” McCain reportedly shouted. Paul Kane added that McCain also “used a curse word associated with chickens.”

There’s Modesty And Then There’s TOO Modest

Ken AshfordWomen's IssuesLeave a Comment

If you got it, flaunt it, they say.  But for some of us (myself included), bathing suit season makes us self-conscious.  Well, now there’s a solution — www.wholesomewear.com:

Our Waterwear is the first to be introduced because the need for modesty in swimwear is greatest and the supply is non-existent.  Swimwear that "highlights the face, rather than the body" includes an undergarment with bright colors at the neck and shoulders to draw the eye to the face.

Here’s an example:

005swimsuits

Those are actual swimsuits.  Here’s the online catalogue — you’ll notice that most of the swimsuits are in the festive color of… black.  (I also note: no modest swimsuits for men…]

I can’t think of a better way to communicate to the whole world "Hey! I really hate my body so much that I am doing you a favor by covering it up as much as possible."

Now, to be fair, we’ve all witnessed the horror of flabby middle-aged men who apparently think that wearing a speedo will actually make them look fit.  And yes, people like that should be fined heavily by the fashion police. 

But do we have to be so prurient that we cannot show just a little flesh?  I mean, by all means, I see the virtue in leaving something to the imagination.  But come on!!  What’s next — burqua swimsuits?!?  [UPDATE: I had to ask…]

None of us are as pretty as the models in TV and commercials.  Including the models themselves.  Time for an oldie but goodie:

[H/T: Lee Ann Chrisco]

Is America Ready For A Six Foot Tall First Lady With A Tongue Stud?

Ken AshfordElection 2008Leave a Comment

There are many many good reasons not to vote for Dennis Kucinich for President in ’08.  There are also some bad reasons not to vote for him too, and most of them center around his wife:

  • She’s hot.  I mean — she’s really hot.
  • She likes Coldplay
  • She’s British
  • The signature line of her emails is a quote from the Kama Sutra
  • She agreed to marry Kucinich on their second date
  • She’s 31 years younger and, like, 3 feet taller — than her husband
  • She wears a tongue stud
  • Actual quote, on the subject of her husband maybe being president one day: "“Can you imagine what it would be like to have real love in the White House and a true union between the masculine and the feminine?”

Why The Scandal Matters

Ken AshfordAttorney FiringsLeave a Comment

N.Y. Times editorial:

The Justice Department is no ordinary agency. Its 93 United States attorney offices, scattered across the country, prosecute federal crimes ranging from public corruption to terrorism. These prosecutors have enormous power: they can wiretap people’s homes, seize property and put people in jail for life. They can destroy businesses, and affect the outcomes of elections. It has always been understood that although they are appointed by a president, usually from his own party, once in office they must operate in a nonpartisan way, and be insulated from outside pressures.

This understanding has badly broken down. It is now clear that United States attorneys were pressured to act in the interests of the Republican Party, and lost their job if they failed to do so. The firing offenses of the nine prosecutors who were purged last year were that they would not indict Democrats, they investigated important Republicans, or they would not try to suppress the votes of Democratic-leaning groups with baseless election fraud cases.

The degree of partisanship in the department is shocking. A study by two professors, Donald Shields of the University of Missouri at St. Louis and John Cragan of Illinois State University, found that the Bush Justice Department has investigated Democratic officeholders and office seekers about four times as often as Republican ones.

What’s shocking, to be honest, is that the New York Times HAS TO write an editorial which states the obvious.  The subversion of not just justice, but the whole justice department of the federal government, shouldn’t require an explanation of why it is bad.  It is, on its face, very very bad.