The Playbill Meme

Ken AshfordPersonalLeave a Comment

I got it from Emily, who got it from Playbill:

Full given name:  Kenneth Richard Ashford

Hometown:  Born in Omaha, Nebraska, but I consider Concord NH (where I was raised) my "hometown"

Zodiac sign:  Libra

Audition song: It used to be "You Are Sixteen Going On Seventeen", but that just gets sillier as I become a forty-something.  Now it’s whatever I can pull together at the last minute.  Am seriously considering making "A Miracle Would Happen" my standard audition song.

First Broadway show ever saw:  "Sherlock Holmes" with Alan Sues, sometime in the 1970’s (1976?).  First musical was "Barnum" with Michael Crawford and Glenn Close.

If you could go back in time and catch any Broadway show, what would it be?:  Original cast of "West Side Story"

Current show you have been recommending to friends: [title of show]

Favorite showtune: It varies, but usually it’s "Nobody’s Side" from Chess

MAC or PC?: PC

Most played song on your iPod: Oh, I get bored listening to the same thing over and over again.  So I just set it to random and let ‘er rip.  Although lately, I’m digging the soundtrack to "Happy Feet".

Last book you read: "Oscar and Felix", Neil Simon’s updated version of "The Odd Couple" (Yes, scripts are "books" for purposes of this question)

Must-see TV show: "The Office", "The Daily Show"

Last good movie you saw: I haven’t seen that many movies lately — guess it would have to be "An Inconvenient Truth"

Favorite reality show: I hate them all, unless "American Idol" counts as a reality show.  If not, then "Meerkat Manor", which probably isn’t a reality show either.

Performer you would drop everything to see:  Live?  In theater?  Meryl.  Duh.

Pop culture guilty pleasure: "American Idol" and blogging

Favorite pre-show meal:  Water and crackers

Pre-show rituals: Stretching and peeing, although not at the same time

Worst flubbed line: I’ve gone up a few times.  That’s the worst I can recall, although I tend to block those times out of my mind.

Favorite pizza topping:  Pepperoni

Cats or dogs?:  Dogs

Who would play you in the movie?:  Um… Matt Damon for the younger years?  Jeff Bridges for the older ones?  Seriously, I have no clue.

Worst job you ever had: Short order cook

Note:  I don’t usually like to blog about myself, but I just had to get that awful Bush picture down from the top.

Your Move, Mr. Pres

Ken AshfordIraqLeave a Comment

From the memory hole:

Former White House press secretary Scott McClellan, April 22, 2004:

The President has made it very clear that we will provide our troops with all the resources they need to do their job. And he looks to our commanders in the theater to make those determinations, in terms of what is needed.

President Bush, January 1, 2006:

THE PRESIDENT: The conditions on the ground will dictate our force level. As the Iraqis are able to take more of the fight to the enemy, our commanders on the ground will be able to make a different assessment about the troop strength. And I’m going to continue to rely upon those commanders, such as General Casey, who is doing a fabulous job and whose judgment I trust, and that will determine — his recommendations will determine the number of troops we have on the ground in Iraq.

President Bush, October 20, 2006:

I talk to our generals who are in charge of these operations, and my message to them is: Whatever you need we’ll give you; and whatever tactics you think work on the ground, you put in place. Our goal hasn’t changed, but the tactics are constantly adjusting to an enemy which is brutal and violent.

The Washington Post is reporting that the Joint Chiefs of Staff are opposed to Bush’s "surge" idea of putting 40,000 more troops into Iraq.

Will Bush do as he repeatedly said, and follow the recommendations of his military advisors?

RELATED:  Pentagon also contradicts Bush when it confirms that al Qaeda is not the biggest threat in Iraq.  In other news, dog bites man.

Give The Kid An “A” In History; Fail The Teacher

Ken AshfordConstitution, Education, Godstuff1 Comment

Matthew LaClair is a student in public high school in Kearny, New Jersey.

David Paszkiewicz is his 11th grade accelaerated history teacher.

Paszkiewicz would often lace his classes with — well — historical inaccuracies, including telling the students that only Christians went to heaven, that the Big Bang and evolution were false, and — wait for it — that dinosaurs were aboard Noah’s Ark. 

For example, this is, verbatim, something that Paszkiewicz said in class to his students:

“If you reject his gift of salvation, then you know where you belong …He did everything in his power to make sure that you could go to heaven, so much so that he took your sins on his own body, suffered your pains for you, and he’s saying, ‘Please, accept me, believe.’ If you reject that, you belong in hell.”

Interesting history class, eh?

We know what Mr. Paszkiewicz said this because Matthew St. Clair recorded him for several weeks, and then complained to the school board.  Although the school board took "corrective action" against the teacher, Matthew is being given a hard time for what he did, which was — basically — supporting the Constitution.

Full story here.

Statutory Rape In Georgia

Ken AshfordCrime, Sex/Morality/Family ValuesLeave a Comment

This is a sensitive subject, I know.

But it seems to me that the judgment in this case is unduly harsh. It simply makes no sense.

Honestly, should a seventeen year old kid be sent to prison for ten years because he had consensual (oral) sex with a fifteen your old girl?  That’s what has happened.

Now obviously, we don’t want 30 year old men having sex with 16 year old girls, even if the 16 year old girl "consents".  And a good statutory rape law can be easily drafted to criminalize this behavior.

But Georgia’s statutory rape statute lead to bizarre results.  Ironically, Georgia amended its statute so that the oral sex between a 17 year old and a fifteen year old would result in a misdemeanor.  But in this particular case, the "act" occurred before the law was rewritten, and the new statute was not retroactive.

So we have a kid with good grades and no criminal record, going to jail for 10 years.

Prof. Volokh examines the case, and concludes that the judge was right (the judge was following the law) — it was the Georgia legislature that screwed up.

UPDATE:  On the other hand, ten years is too mild a sentence for a woman who "rented her 9-year-old daughter to a pedophile more than 200 times", including assisting the pedophile by physically restraining her daughter.

Extended Warranties Are A Ripoff

Ken AshfordEconomy & Jobs & DeficitLeave a Comment

Maybe you knew this already, but it’s nice to have it confirmed by no less an authority than Consumer Reports:

For the consumer, extended warranties are notoriously bad deals because:

  • Products seldom break within the extended-warranty window (typically around three years), our data show.
  • When electronics and appliances do break, the repair often costs about the same as the cost of the warranty.

They give two possible exceptions:

There are two caveats to our just-say-no advice: It’s worth considering an extended warranty if you’re buying a rear-projection microdisplay TV. Repair costs can be high, and these sets have been three times more likely to need repairs than other types of TVs. We also think it may be wise to get an extended warranty (which includes extended tech support) if you’re buying an Apple computer, because they come with only 90 days of phone tech support.

Attention al Qaeda!

Ken AshfordWar on Terrorism/TortureLeave a Comment

Hey, I’m no military expert, but it seems to me that Pentagon shouldn’t be releasing — on the Internet no less — it’s new 282 page Counterinsurgency Manual (available here in PDF format).  I mean, if I can get it, can’t our enemies?

We Need A Little Christmas

Ken AshfordBush & Co., Godstuff, Health Care, Iraq, Sex/Morality/Family ValuesLeave a Comment

(1)  Inflation took its largest jump in decades

(2)  Joint Chiefs of Staff oppose Bush’s plan to put more troops in Iraq.  Bush has always said that he will listen to the advice of his military advisors.  Will he?  RELATED:  Powell breaks with Bush 43, too.

(3)  America’s biggest cash crop?  Cannibas. ("It is the leading cash crop in 12 states, and one of the top five crops in 39 states.")

(4)  Bush approval rating hits rock bottom:

– support for Bush’s handling of the Iraq conflict has decreased to 28% from 34%
– 70% disapprove of Bush’s war management (It was actually managed?)
– job approval 36%
– 62% disapproved of his job performance

(5)  Remember Ted Haggard?  Looks like there’s more problems for his New Life Church.  An executive director has resigned for, among other things, "sexual misconduct". (Ironically, in last year’s passion play, this guy played the role of ….Satan).

The Gift Of the Mob-y

Ken AshfordRandom Musings1 Comment

18whale600_1The New York Times has a rather strange story of a gift given to a woman from her sister.  It was found on the beach 50 years ago, and is now a family heirloom.

What is it?

Nobody’s sure, but it appears to be petrified whale vomit.

Before you say "ugh", the article points out that if it is whale vomit, it’s worth $18,000, since it contains rare ingredients used in fine perfumes.

A Bush Family Christmas – 1970’s

Ken AshfordBush & Co.Leave a Comment

The Bush Christmas Card of 2006 might not contain the word "Christmas", but (via Wonkette), we came across the Bush family Christmas card of sometime in the 1970’s:

Bush70sxmas

Four Five things stand out:

(1)  "Merry Christmas …from all the George Bushes"???  What does that mean??  They’re all clones — even Barbara?  Or did Bush 41 have a huge ego?

(2)  "Support UNICEF".  Apparently, the United Nations does do some good.

(3)  What’s with all the neckties slung over the shoulder?  I vaguely remember the 1970’s, but I must have missed that fashion trend.

(4)  And what’s that in George Jr’s left hand?

(5)  It’s, um, not very Christmas-y, is it?

This Is What They Call “Supporting The Troops”?

Ken AshfordIraqLeave a Comment

Support20our20troops20yellow20ribbon20phWith talk about putting a "surge" of troops in Iraq, the inevitable question arises: <i>What</i> troops?  We’re extended as far as we can go.

The answer, it seems, is simple:  We don’t add more troops; we just extend the rotation of troops already there, don’t allow any breaks, and bring in their replacements early.

There are tens of thousands of families across the country who won’t have Mommy or Daddy home for Christmas.  Now, it seems, they won’t be home next Christmas either (and for some, no Christmas ever).

How can right-wingers claim to support the troops, and still advocate draconian military policies like this?  It boggles the mind.

Making Satire Obsolete

Ken AshfordGodstuff, Right Wing Punditry/IdiocyLeave a Comment

I read my fair share of conservative editorials simply because I’m curious about how the other half third eighth thinks.

Plus, those people make me laugh.

Take, for example, a recent Townhall column by regular Townhall contributor Doug Giles.

This is — I swear to God — his opening paragraph:

Have you ever asked yourself, “Self, why do churches today look more like the bra and panty department at Sears rather than a battalion of men poised to kick demonic butt?”

Now, I confess — it’s been a while since I’ve been to church, and even longer since I’ve been to Sears (much less, the bra and panty department of Sears).  But I’m pretty sure that churches today look nothing like the aforementioned Sears department.

Giles’ point — and he’s apparently serious about this — is that men aren’t attending churches like they should be, because there’s not enough testosterone going on there on Sunday mornings.  And the pussification of out churches has led to, among other things, a failure to increase our national security.

What we need, says Giles, are more gun-toting churches where the pastor gets up there all sweaty and dirty, with a chain of bullets accross is chest.  And crucifixes where Jesus looks like Rambo.  or something.

Anyway, if you want to take a nice foray into wingnuttia-land, read this.

Detainee No. 200343

Ken AshfordIraqLeave a Comment

In Iraq, an American contractor, who was also an informant for the FBI, was captured and imprisoned in April:

[G]uards arrived at the man’s cell periodically over the next several days, shackled his hands and feet, blindfolded him and took him to a padded room for interrogation, the detainee said. After an hour or two, he was returned to his cell, fatigued but unable to sleep.

The fluorescent lights in his cell were never turned off, he said. At most hours, heavy metal or country music blared in the corridor. He said he was rousted at random times without explanation and made to stand in his cell. Even lying down, he said, he was kept from covering his face to block out the light, noise and cold. And when he was released after 97 days he was exhausted, depressed and scared.

No charges brought.  No lawyer (in the article, this American notes, quite correcty, that Saddam Hussein himself had more rights than he did). 

You might think that his captors were "the enemy", but you would be wrong.  His captors were the U.S. military.  This is how, under the Bush regime, Americans are treating Americans.

It’s kind of hard to be in the exporting-freedom-to-the-Middle-East business when we act like this.

Read the whole thing.

Time Magazine’s “Person Of The Year” Honor Officially Jumps The Shark

Ken AshfordPopular Culture1 Comment

Timepersoncover Who is Time Magazine’s "Person Of The Year" for 2006?

Me.

Yes, me.

AND IT"S ABOUT TIME THEY RECOGNIZED ME!!!

And you.

Yes, you.  You’re even on the cover!  Go to the newstand and see for yourself!!

Clearly, a cheap PR ploy designed to get people to buy the issue.

NOTE:  This is the third time I’ve won Time’s "Person of the Year" Award.  I also won in 1966 ("Twenty-Five and Unders") and in 1969 ("Middle Americans").  Still, my sister has won four times now — the same three as me, plus another time in 1975 (when "American Woman" won).

UPDATE:  Blogosphere reactions include "pathetic", "condescending and patronizing", and "humble honored"

And this blogger predicted this selection way back in October.

But the Comment Of The Year Regarding Person Of The Year goes to this guy:

Seriously. Congratulations to Time for actually thinking of something even stupider than Rudy Giuliani in 2001.

…Adding in: I’d like to apologize in advance for this, because I’m sure it will offend some. But Person of the Year isn’t the Special fucking Olympics. The entire point of the exercise is that everyone doesn’t get a medal for participating. The purpose of the issue is to address the person or persons who, for bad or worse, most affected world events of that year. So they picked… everyone? Well of course everyone affected world events the most, fuckwits.

I mentioned Giuliani because I think most people who used to care about this would agree that 2001 was the year that without any argument Time blatantly copped out on the entire point of the issue. Osama bin Laden was clearly the person who, like Hitler in 1933, affected world events the most that year. But bin Laden wouldn’t sell magazines and American readers would be too stupid to realize it’s not an award. So now, five years later, Time’s given in and decided that Person of the Year is, officially, an award. Congratulations, Time Magazine is now Everybody Gets a Trophy Day.

Wake me when we have journalism in America again.