At Last — A Reason To See A Movie Soon

Ken AshfordPopular CultureLeave a Comment

Christopher Guest — who brought us Waiting For Guffman, Best In Show, and A Mighty Wind — has assembled his usual crew of actors (Parker Posey, Eugene Levy, Michael McKean, Catherine O’Hara, Harry Shearer, Fred Willard), and a few new ones (Ricky Gervais) for another film.

This one lacks the "mockumentary" style, but it could be good.

It’s called "For Your Consideration".

Cool Stuff

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

Modular shelving that’s shaTetrisshelvesped like the game Tetris:

"Sure, this is somewhat prohibitively expensive, but the idea of creating a bookshelf out of Tetris-like shelving units was too good to pass up. Designed by Bravespace, the pieces are made from walnut and ash wood and come in five shapes that you will recognize from Tetris–they are even called Tetris Shelving Pieces. Each is interchangeable and reversible, allowing you to make your own configurations, and the shelves provide a depth of 11".

The price for this is $600.

Voting Machines Already Changing Votes From Democrat To Republican

Ken AshfordElection 2006Leave a Comment

This doesn’t make me very confident about our democratic process.  From Miami:

Debra A. Reed voted with her boss on Wednesday at African-American Research Library and Cultural Center near Fort Lauderdale. Her vote went smoothly, but boss Gary Rudolf called her over to look at what was happening on his machine. He touched the screen for gubernatorial candidate Jim Davis, a Democrat, but the review screen repeatedly registered the Republican, Charlie Crist.

That’s exactly the kind of problem that sends conspiracy theorists into high gear — especially in South Florida, where a history of problems at the polls have made voters particularly skittish.

A poll worker then helped Rudolf, but it took three tries to get it right, Reed said.

”I’m shocked because I really want . . . to trust that the issues with irregularities with voting machines have been resolved,” said Reed, a paralegal. “It worries me because the races are so close.”

Iraq Getting Messier

Ken AshfordIraqLeave a Comment

More bad news:

U.S. soldier death toll passes the 100 mark (up to 105, if you include "unconfirmed") for October, making this the deadliest month since January 2005, and the fourth deadliest since the war started.  Grand total no 2,815.

And the quagmire worsens:

Thousands of weapons the United States has provided Iraqi security forces cannot be accounted for, and spare parts and repair manuals are unavailable for many others, a new report to Congress says.

The inspector general’s office released its report Sunday in a series of three audits finding that:

  • Nearly one of every 25 weapons the military bought for Iraqi security forces is missing. Many others cannot be repaired because parts or technical manuals are lacking.
  • "Significant challenges remain that put at risk" the U.S. military’s goal of strengthening Iraqi security forces by transferring all logistics operations to the defense ministry by the end of 2007.
  • "The unstable security environment in Iraq touches every aspect" of the Provincial Reconstruction Team program, in which U.S. government experts help Iraqis develop regional governmental institutions.

    The Pentagon cannot account for 14,030 weapons — almost 4 percent of the semiautomatic pistols, assault rifles, machine guns, rocket-propelled grenade launchers and other weapons it has been supplying to Iraq since the end of 2003.

  • Your One-Stop All-Purpose Zombie Post

    Ken AshfordPopular Culture1 Comment

    ZpromZombie Prom

    I had the distinct pleasure of seeing Theatre Alliance’s Zombie Prom on Thursday.  It was fantastic.

    For those not familar with the muscial, the plot is simple.  Girl meets boy.  Boy kills himself in nuclear suicide.  Boy comes back as zombie.  Boy and girl get back together again.  School authorities ban zombie from the prom.  Boy and girl go to prom anyway.  It’s Grease meets Footloose meets Night Of The Living Dead.

    In other words, it’s stupid fun, with a special emphasis on fun.

    The Theatre Alliance production of "Zombie Prom" started off with energetic silliness and never let up.  There simply was no weak moment in the entire show.  The ensemble cast — on stage for most of the show in various roles — all had wonderful comic timing and each managed to stand out in their own unique way.  And they did it while singing and tapping.  In fact, if I could see the show again, I would go just to look at them — there were all kinds of things that I know I missed.

    The leads were absolutely perfect.  Gray Smith played the strict and aptly-named Delilah Strict, the evil schoolteacher who was the nemesis to the youthful love affair between teeny bopper Toffee and Jonny (Toffee’s zombie boyfriend).  I always knew Gray could sign and dance; I didn’t realize he could do both in high heels.

    Jonny (Jay Smith), the rebel zombie who spells is name without an "h", had a terrific voice and a wonderful presence which shined through his green body paint.  John Bennett was fantastic as Eddie Flagrante, the roving yellow journalist intent on bringing Jonny’s story to light.

    But for me, this was Emily Mark (who played Toffee) at her finest — again.  A gifted singer and actress, she never ceases to blow me away.  She’s hot, too.  To demonstrate the impact she has — after the show, I was talking with a gay (male) friend, and a (straight) female friend, and we arguing with each other as to who was in love with Emily the most.  (In my opinion, I won that debate).  That’s the kind of performer Emily is — after seeing her, everybody wants to make out with her.  But seriously — even in the silliest roles, Emily can knock your socks with her voice, as she did with the showstopping "Easy To Say".  That, and the Flagrante-Strict tango duet ("Expose") were two of the three highlights of the night.

    The third highlight was a pure Jamie Lawson creation — a curtain call that served as an homage to great horror film villians.  Done in a fast-paced Benny Hill style chase — but with hip-hop and dancing and lights and special effects — the audience was treated to the likes of Frankenstein, Jason, Freddy Kruger, Hannibal Lector, Carrie, and the girl from Poltergeist — just to name a few.  It was a three-ring circus of fun and fear, a capper to a fantastic night at the theater.

    Sadly, if you didn’t see it, you’re out of luck, because Zombie Prom closed this weekend.  But not to worry – they’ll be a movie version soon.

    How To Date A Zombie

    Zkearly2It is becoming increasingly difficult for the libidinous Deathhacker to find someone to go out on that hot date. It seems like all the good ones are either being torn apart by their entrails or lumbering around as the cannibalistic undead. Even in the best of times, it was hard to find a compatible partner — now, it sometimes seems impossible! But wait — why not date the dead? That’s what many prospective necrophiles are asking themselves.

    The answer: no reason at all! Here’s some tips we’ve collected on how to find that special undead someone.

    Don’t be hemmed in by your own sex appeal. Dating the walking dead means never being not good enough for someone. That dashing, lantern-jawed Gucci model you see sometimes at Starbucks? The sultry sylph at your office with the wiggle in her walk? While asking them out before Z-Day would have resulted in them pointing you and hysterically guffawing while pantomiming vomiting sounds in the back of their throat, who’s laughing now? They’re dead and you’re alive. That means you’re the hottie.

    Their lips may scream "Brainsssss!" but their eyes say "Yes!" Easily lure your new lover to your bedroom with a piece of meat. Then chain them to the wall like you’d always planned to do if you’d ever gotten a boyfriend or girlfriend in real life. Remember: dead girls don’t say no!

    Just because they’re zombies doesn’t mean you can’t have romance. Although taking bubble baths together is right out, there’s still lots of romantic things you can do with your new sweetie. As rigor mortis sets in, your lover will appreciate a sensuous massage. A heart shaped candy box filled with pulsating morsels of raw human flesh is the perfect gift to show you care — if you can’t find a heart-shaped candy box, how about just a heart? Languid walks on the beach can be accomplished with a leather collar attached to a sturdy ten foot pole. And the zombie apocalypse is the perfect opportunity to have that obnoxious in-law over for dinner!

    Dress him the way you want! There’s no reason your undead beau or belle has to walk around in the slimy, beetle-infested tatters of a garbage man’s uniform, or in that gore-soaked ballerina’s costume. The zombie apocalypse is the perfect reason to do what you’ve always wanted to do for your living significant others anyway: transform them into giant, sexually-active Barbie and Ken dolls! Now you can transform Joe Shlub into James Bond or Mousy Miss into Slutty Catholic Schoolgirl.

    No Frenching. This one really should be obvious, but we’ve heard enough Deathhackers sloppily gurgling about this through mouthfuls of bloody soup to pass on a word of warning. Obviously, no matter how great the attachment between you and your loved one, you need to keep away from teeth and claws. Many necrophiles have recommended bringing your lover to the local dentist and having the teeth taken out. But why pay so much money for something you can do at home for free? Simply put your lover’s head in a garage vice and take them out with a hammer or pair of pliers! Your lips will thank you!

    Like real lovers, the undead are disposable. Sick of your sweetie’s midnight gaseous emissions? Weary of a monotonous sex life that always seems to end with you feeling ashamed and filthy? Is your lover’s personal cleanliness becoming an issue? Remember, just like dating a living person, an undead lover is an emotionless meat puppet, disposable the moment you’ve satisfied your base and selfish urges… but unlike the living, you can just kick them out of bed, shoot them in the head, then go out and get yourself another! Finally, an end to messy break-ups!

    Miscellaneous Zombism

    How to look like a zombie

    Use Google Maps to track zombies in your area

    The 100 Scariest Movie Scenes Of All Time

    Ken AshfordPopular CultureLeave a Comment

    As determined by the folks at the popculture site, retroCRUSH (my comments are in italics):

    100. The Wicker Man – "It’s YOU!"never saw it

    99. Return of The Living Dead – "BRAAAAINNNNS!"not sure if I saw it or not

    98. To Kill A Mockingbird- "Jem is truly outrageous"scary, if you’re five years old I guess

    97. Frankenstein- "Little girl takes a dive"not scary, but funny

    96. Blue Velvet- "Frank comes home"weird scary

    95. The Hitcher- "You want fingers with that?"never saw it

    94. Jaws- "Quint tells a story"a great scene, but I wouldn’t call it "scary"

    93. Creepshow- "Creature in the crate"never saw it

    92. Confessions Of An Opium Eater- "Vincent Price trips out!"never saw it

    91. The Hills Have Eyes- "Geekin’ out!"never saw it

    90. Dumbo- "Pink Elephants On Parade"never saw it, but it doesn’t sound scary

    89. Them!- "THEM!"never saw it

    88. Heavy Metal- "Undead Air Force"never saw it or head of it

    87. The Shining- "All work and no play"scary in a creepy way

    86. Night Of The Hunter- "Shelly Winters takes a bath"never saw it

    85. Altered States- "Special FX spook overload"don’t remember it

    84. Scanners- "Killer migraine"never saw it

    83. The Legend of Boggy Creek- "Not even the toilet is safe"never saw it

    82. The Birds- "The eyes have it"yeah, scary

    81. Tombs of the Blind Dead- "Slow motion horseback riding"never saw it or head of it

    80. Invasion of the Body Snatchers- "That’s one ugly dog"don’t remember it

    79. The Crying Game- "Nice package!" – scary?

    78. The Exorcist III- "Old lady crawls on the ceiling"never saw it

    77. Event Horizon- "OK, retroCRUSH is scared by missing eyes"never saw it

    76. The Shining- "Red Rum"yeah, kinda scary

    75. The House On Haunted Hill- "Ghosts in the viewfinder" – never saw it

    74. Silent Scream- "Through the craw space"never saw it

    73. Gates of Hell- "Puke your guts out"never saw it

    72. Poltergeist II- "Swallow the worm"yeah, pretty scary

    71. Akira- "Teddy bears are supposed to be cute" – never saw it

    70. The Evil Dead- "No means no, even for trees!" – don’t remember it

    69. Zombie- "Surprise, more eye trauma!"never heard of it

    68. Freaks- "One of us!"don’t remember it

    67. Prince of Darkness- "What the HELL is that?"never heard of it

    66. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre- "Do you like head cheese?"never saw it, believe it or not

    65. Marathon Man- "Without novacaine"yup, scary

    64. Poltergeist- "Who moved those chairs?"freaked me out the first time I saw it

    63. The Wizard of Oz- "Flying monkeys!"yeah, I guess

    62. When A Stranger Calls- "The call is coming from your house!"very scary

    61. The Shining- "Furry Freakout!"just plain weird

    60. Pee Wee’s Big Adventure- "Large Marge sent me!"actually, it was kinda scary

    59. Jaws- "We’re gonna need a bigger boat"  one of my favorite movie lines ever

    58. Psycho- "Hi, Mom!"scary

    57. The Exorcist- "Subliminal seduction"scary

    56. Psycho- "Norman’s eyes"scary

    55. The Godfather 2- "Fredo…."never saw it

    54. The Changeling- "Follow the bouncing ball"never saw it

    53. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre- The Bone-Roomnever saw it

    52. The Ring- "Girl in the closet"yup, scary

    51. Jaws- "Shark tug of war"scary

    50. An American Werewolf in London- "A walk in the woods"scary

    49. Trilogy of Terror- "Zuni fetishist"never heard of it

    48. The Exorcist- "Pea soup puke-fest"more gross than scary

    47. Eraserhead- "Cutest baby ever"scary

    46. Salem’s Lot- "Who’s that scratching on my window?"very scary

    45. Poltergeist- "What nice complexion you have!"scary

    44. Repulsion- "Delusions of madness"never saw it

    43. Friday the 13th- "Swimming with Jason"never saw it

    42. Seven- "Sloth"eh

    41. Reservoir Dogs- "Lend me your ear"more gross than scary

    40. King Kong- "Kong shakes his big log"yeah, whatever

    39. The Thing- "Creepy crawler"don’t remember it

    38. 28 Days Later- "Where is everyone?"huh?

    37. The Cell- "A horse is a horse, of course of course"never saw it

    36. Silence of The Lambs- "With a nice chianti!"creeeeeepy

    35. Poltergeist- "Time to clean the pool!"scary

    34. The Ring- "Samara comes out of the well"scary

    33. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom- "I hate bugs!"scary only if you hate bugs

    32. The Evil Dead 2- "Grabbin’ Ash"never saw it

    31. The Exorcist- "Hot crucifix action"scary

    30. Alien- "That egg looks bad"scary

    29. The Phantom of the Opera- "Unmasked!"scary in a classical way

    28. The Shining- "Here’s Johnny!"funny scary

    27. Twilight Zone The Movie- "Wanna see something real scary?"not really

    26. Dracula- "Renfield eats flies"never saw it

    25. Halloween- "Sheet with glasses!"scary

    24. Suspiria- "Eyes without a face"never heard of it

    23. A Nightmare On Elm Street- "What big arms you have"never saw it

    22. Serpent and the Rainbow- "Not the spider!"never saw it

    21. Invasion of the Body Snatchers- "Sutherland screams"don’t remember it

    20. Full Metal Jacket- "Pyle loses it"yeah, that was scary in it’s own way

    19. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory- "Wonka’s boat ride"silly, not scary

    18. Nosferatu- "Shadow terrors"scary

    17. Misery- "Hobbling"scary

    16. The Thing- "Blood Runs Cold"never saw it

    15. Invasion of the Body Snatchers- "You’re NEXT!" don’t remember it

    14. The Blair Witch Project- "If this tent’s a shaking…"very scary

    13. Night of the Living Dead- "They’re coming to get you, Barbara!"never saw it

    12. The Exorcist- "Head spinning"classically scary

    11. Deliverance- "Squeal like pig"not scary, just distrubing

    10. The Shining- "Room 237"oh my god that was really scary

    9. The Exorcist III- "Head scissors"never saw it

    8. Night of the Living Dead- "Look who’s outside"never saw it

    7. Jaws- "Heads will roll"scared the crap out of me the first time I saw it, and it still does

    6. Un Chien Andalou- "Eye slicin’ fun!"never saw it

    5. Poltergeist- "Clown under the bed"no, I thought it was kind of funny

    4. Alien- "Chestburster"verrry scary

    3. The Shining- "Danny takes a trike ride"gave me nightmares

    2. Carrie- "Surprise Arm"jumped a mile out of my seat

    1. Psycho- "Shower scene"well, naturally, very scary

    Fun Facts About DST

    Ken AshfordRandom Musings1 Comment

    1. It’s called "Daylight Saving Time"; not "Daylight Savings Time".  Yeah, I know, it sounds weird the correct way, right?
    2. This year will be the first time since the early 1970s that the state of Indiana has observed Daylight Saving Time. Some counties observed it in the past but most did not. (By the way, China has only one time zone, which means that 9:00 a.m. could be morning in one part of the country, and the middle of the afternoon in another.  Weird.)
    3. Ben Franklin was one of the first to suggest the idea of DST.  He wrote about it in a toungue-in-cheek letter in 1784, but it wasn’t until WWI that Daylight Saving was actually put in place, to help save energy.
    4. After the 1973 energy crisis, the U.S. went on extended Daylight Saving Time for 1974-75. A Department of Transportation study found that observing DST in March and April saved 10,000 barrels of oil a day, prevented 2,000 traffic injuries and saved $28 million in traffic costs. In 1976, the U.S. returned to the previously observed schedule, after public opposition to late winter sunrises.
    5. But we’re going to do it again.  In 2007, the DST period will start earlier (March 11) and end later (November 4). This is part of the Energy Policy Act of 2005, and this is only a test. Based on results, Congress can choose to revert to the previous schedule, which was set in 1986.

    Addicted To The Internets?

    Ken AshfordBloggingLeave a Comment

    InternetaddictionAccording to a just-completed study from researchers at Stanford’s School of Medicine, one in eight people show signs of “problematic internet use.”

    I read this, and decided to blog about it, which means I’m probably one of the eight.

    Results from the telephone-based survey of more than 2,000 people found that:

    • 13.7 percent found it hard to stay away from the Internet for several days at a time
    • 12.4 percent stayed online longer than intended very often or often
    • 12.3 percent had seen a need to cut back on Internet use at some point
    • 8.7 percent attempted to conceal non-essential Internet use from family, friends and employers
    • 8.2 percent used the Internet as a way to escape problems or relieve negative mood
    • 5.9 percent felt their relationships suffered as a result of excessive Internet use

    Based on the research, the average internet addict was a college-educated white male (yup, that’s me) in his 30s (yeah, I wish) who logged about 30 hours of nonessential internet use per week (define “nonessential”) and visited pornography and gambling sites as well as chat rooms and shopping sites (uh … no comment).

    Here’s an interesting finding: “the research showed similarities between alcoholism and internet addiction in that users often hide their web surfing and use it to self-medicate.”   I don’t know what that means.  Does that mean that internet addiction replaces alcohol addiction?

    Anyawy, if you want to read more about the study, click here.  But I warn you, if you click, that might mean you have the signs of internet addiction.

    The Swiftboating Of Michael J. Fox, Day 3

    Ken AshfordElection 2006, Right Wing Punditry/IdiocyLeave a Comment

    GopkeatonWell, it’s still a story, for some reason.

    And the right is still attacking Fox. I think it has something to do with the fact that Alex Keaton isn’t the Alex Keaton of the 1980’s (for a refresher, see photo at right).

    But I wanted to note that some of the media got it wrong yesterday — Rush did not apologize for saying that Fox was "acting" his symptoms.  In fact, he’s unrepentant:

    I stand by what I said. I take back none of what I said. I wouldn’t rephrase it any differently. It is what I believe; it is what I think. It is what I have found to be true.

    What’s worse, Rush was caught on video MOCKING Fox’s handicap, prompting this response from a TPM reader:

    Have you seen the video of Limbaugh talking about Fox on his show? Scarborough played it over and over and over again this evening, and it’s absolutely grotesque because as he’s talking, Limbaugh is jerkily waving his arms and head around and mocking — yes, mocking — Fox’s jerky Parkinson movements for all he’s worth.

    I think it may be the most repellent piece of political video I’ve ever seen. If that gets a little more play, I’d say both Limbaugh and Talent are toast.

    By the way, Rush is faaaaaat again.  Heh.

    It’s interesting that the GOP "response" ad features Jim Caviezel, an actor who Jesus in Mel Gibson’s Passion Of The Christ.  And (like the Jesus character in the film), he speaks in Aramaic!  So let me get the rightwing playbook straight:

    (1) It’s an outrage when Michael J. Fox, an actual Parkinson’s sufferer, speaks for himself and films a political ad supporting a measure allowing stem cell research, …BUT

    (2) Stem cell research opponents create an ad using a fake Jesus speaking in Jesus’ language, and that’s okay.

    #1 is manipulative; #2 is not — according to the right wingnuts.  Go figure.

    There are other things about the anti-stem cell research rebuttal ad that are — well — bizarre.  Apart from Caviezel, the ad features other big "star power" to counteract that of Michael J. Fox.  They are Jeff Suppan (a baseball pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals), Kurt Warner (a professional quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals), Mike Sweeny (another pitcher, this time from the Kansas City Royals) and Patricia Heaton (from Everybody Loves Raymond).  They all say that the an amendment proposed in Missouri would allow human cloning, although the amendment says "(1) No person may clone or attempt to clone a human being".  [You can read it here — it’s in plain English]. 

    And none of them are even originally from Missouri, or have Parkinson’s or Alzeheimer’s, or are victims of spinal cord injuries.  Why exactly should they be listened to?

    Any port in a storm, I guess.

    THE MICHAEL J. FOX EFFECT:  A national study conducted on the Michael J. Fox ad (wow, that was quick!) revealed the following:

    • Among all respondents, support for stem cell research increased from 78% prior to viewing the ad, to 83% after viewing the ad. Support among Democrats increased from 89% to 93%, support among Republicans increased from 66% to 68% and support among Independents increased from 80% to 87% after viewing the ad.
    • The level of concern regarding a candidate’s view on stem cell research increased among all respondents from 57% prior to viewing the ad to 70% after viewing the ad. Among Democrats, the level of concern increased from 66% to 83% and Republicans’ level of concern increased from 50% to 60%. Independents’ level of concern increased from 58% to 69%.
    • The perception that the November election is relevant to the U.S. policy on stem cell research increased across all voter segments, with an increase of 9% among all respondents pre- and post-viewing from 62% to 71%. The Democrats’ perception increased from 75% to 83%, Republicans’ perception increased from 55% to 62% and Independents’ perception increased from 60% to 68% pre- and post-viewing.
    • The advertisement elicited similar emotional responses from all responders with all voter segments indicating that they were "not bored and attentive" followed by "sorrowful, thankful, afraid and regretful."
    • The vast majority of responders indicated that the advertisement was believable with 76% of all responders reporting that it was "extremely believable" or "believable." Among party affiliation, 93% of Democrats 57% of Republicans and 78% of Independents indicated it "extremely believable" or "believable."
    • Republicans who indicated that they were voting for a Republican candidate decreased by 10% after viewing the ad (77% to 67%). Independents planning to vote for Democrats increased by 10%, from 39% to 49%.

    I guess that accounts for the attacks on Michael Fox’s ad — it works.

    Note To Wisconsin Parents: Watch Your Kids

    Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

    Spongetrap_1You know those arcade vending machine things where you put in your money and then manipulate a claw in order to pick up your prize?

    Some kid in Wisconsin found a better way to win: he crawled inside the machine.

    Unfortunately, he got trapped.

    ANTIGO, Wis. (AP) — A toddler who went fishing for a stuffed cartoon character in a vending machine wound up sharing space with the toy inside the game’s plastic cubicle.

    Three-year-old Robert Moore tried to scoop out a stuffed replica of SpongeBob SquarePants with the vending machine’s plastic crane on Saturday, but had no luck on his first attempt.

    While his grandmother, Fredricka Bierdemann, turned her back to get another dollar for a second try, Robert took off his coat and squeezed through an opening in the machine. He landed in the stuffed animal cube.

    "I turned around and looked for him, and he said, ‘Oma, I’m in here," Bierdemann said. "I thought I would have a heart attack."

    Store employees couldn’t find a key to the machine, so Robert waited while the Anti-go Fire Department was called.

    "He was having a ball in there, hugging all the stuffed animals," Bierdemann said. "He was so good-natured, but I was shaking like a leaf."

    This isn’t the first time something like this has happened in Wisconsin.

    RELATED:  Speaking of kids and toys….

    So when Morton heard his 6-year-old son, Jonathan, saying a slang and obscene word to friends after his birthday party on Saturday, Morton was more than troubled.

    He was incensed.

    Morton said his son did not learn the word — a term for sexual intercourse — from his older brother or late night TV. He heard it from a toy.

    Morton said he bought his son a police officer set that uttered the obscenity when Jonathan pulled out the nightstick from the utility belt.

    “He asked me if I wanted him to arrest me and I said no, (then) he asked me if I wanted to be cuffed and I said (maybe), and then he said, ‘(expletive) don’t make me use my nightstick,’” Morton said. “Without even thinking I said, ‘What did you say?’ So he said it again. To some people that might have been funny to hear a child say that, but I got very, very mad.”

    Morton said he has since spent the past few days punishing his son and making apologies to the parents of his son’s friends.

    “I’ve had to explain to parents why my son is saying the f-word; it’s horrible,” Morton said. “It’s really a cute little toy; but God forbid, it’s not what I want my kid hearing.”

    Morton bought the toy, which is marked appropriate for ages 3 to 10, from the Geoffrey store off Western Boulevard Extension. After realizing the toy’s glitch he took it back — not for a refund but to make the store aware of the malfunction. When he and store employees opened another such set and checked its nightstick, however, it did not include the offensive word. Morton bought the clean version for his son but kept the delinquent twin as proof.

    You’re Thinking About It Right Now, Right?

    Ken AshfordSex/Morality/Family ValuesLeave a Comment

    Not so surprising research:

    Researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University say most men are always thinking of sex.

    A study released Tuesday in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Scientists found 54 percent of men and 19 percent of women admit they think about sex every day — or several times a day — in a society where they are bombarded with subconscious erotic images.

    Researchers also found sexual orientation often determines how the brain reacts to erotic images. Heterosexual women, for example, were more tuned in to pictures of naked men, the same reaction exhibited by homosexual men. But homosexual woman were equally attuned to naked images of both sexes, the report said.