Casa Blanca No Habla Espanol?

Ken AshfordBush & Co.Leave a Comment

DATA POINT ONE

Bush today:

When the president was asked at a Rose Garden question-and-answer session whether the anthem should be sung in Spanish, he replied: "I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English, and I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English and they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English."

DATA POINT TWO

The White House webside en espanol  [Note: Spanish is the only language in which the White House website is translated]

“Winnie The Pooh Has A Really Big, Heavy Head”

Ken AshfordPopular CultureLeave a Comment

Winniepoohhead The following is an interview with Crystal Nettles, who recently left Disneyland after five years working in costume, playing such characters as Pluto and Eeyore:

Is there a social hierarchy at the park? Like, the princesses in the parade are cool, and they look down on people in Goofy costumes, or maybe the costume people are cooler?

Well, they had a problem with the face characters—people whose faces are showing, like the princesses—thinking they were better than the full costume characters. But now, when they start, the face characters do a full day in a character suit, so they can see what it’s like.

Do you choose what character you play?

When you audition, they take your measurements. Then you’re assigned a character based on your height, and what suit looks good on you.

Are any characters considered really lame, and everybody is like, “God, don’t make me play that guy”?

Well, some of the characters hurt. Like, Winnie the Pooh has a really big, heavy head. Smaller people play him, because of his stature, and that head can hurt after a while. Other characters aren’t safe to take into certain areas: you’ll get beaten up.
Beaten up, literally? Where would that happen? 

Well, like areas that are really crowded with kids. You take certain characters in there, and they’ll go crazy. Usually it’s just that they’re overzealous, they jump on you or push you down. And because you can’t see well—like with Princess Atta [from A Bug’s Life], you’ve got like a three-inch mouth hole to see through—you can run into people. Sometimes teenagers will get violent; they’ll kick you. It happens all the time, and it can get really bad. I’ve known people who were on disability because of injuries they got. Certain characters really get kicked around.

Which characters? 

Well, Winnie the Pooh, and especially Eeyore, for some reason.

Why would anybody beat up Eeyore?

I know! He’s so depressed already. People are evil. Wait, no, don’t say that I said that. I’ll sound mean.
No, you’re right. Beating up Eeyore is evil. Everybody says Minnie Mouse is played by a guy. Is that true?

Not usually. You need somebody with slim legs for that costume, and guys have bigger calves. It’s all about the height, so it’s more likely the female characters will be played by women and the taller male characters will be guys. But it varies.

You know about the “furry” subculture, right? People with a fetish for cartoon animals? 

[Laughs] Yeah.

Do any of them work at the park? 

Well . . . there was one guy who, uh, led people to assume he was into that.

How? 

Apparently he wore a dog collar, and a tail sometimes. But he wasn’t really blatant. He didn’t have, like, strategically placed holes in his costume or anything.

What about the guests? Did anybody ever try to pick you up? 

Well, when I did face work, sure. That was mostly just husbands, goofing around. But there are season-pass holders who will basically just come there and stalk you.

I’ve heard stories about the costumed characters pinching or groping people. Does that really happen?

We have very strict guidelines about when and how we can touch people. They have to approach us; we can’t just go up and hug them or whatever. There was a photograph where one of the face characters was tickling a kid, and because of the angle and because when you’re tickling, y’know, hands go everywhere, it looked bad. So now there’s no tickling. If they want a picture with us, we can put an arm around their shoulder, but—you can lose track of how far those giant fingers extend, and it can look like you’re touching the chest. A lot of times, people see us as a free ticket: they’ll tell the park we hit their kid, or did something else we didn’t do, and they think they can get a free ticket that way. Usually the park goes along with it, because they want good publicity.

How do you cope with the heat in those suits? 

There’s no cooling system or air conditioning in the suit, so . . . you learn to deal with it. Some suits are better, like the Buzz Lightyear suit has a big chest plate that acts as a vent. And with Eeyore, if you move up and down fast, you get a breeze that way. But on a 100-degree day, we’re roasting.
Do people faint?

Sure. Usually people know they’re dehydrated and they make it backstage in time. But once Frollo, the villain from Hunchback of Notre Dame, fainted in front of the guests. Everybody had to surround him with laundry bags from backstage—so the guests couldn’t see—and remove his costume.

I imagine you’d get a lot of rashes from those suits. Lots of fungus.

Well, I didn’t completely trust the detergent they use . . . if they were using detergent. And the costumes weren’t washed every day. So I didn’t take any chances. I wore the full under-dressing, padding and gloves. I didn’t want any part of the suit touching me. But I was breaking out all the time anyway. That’s why I finally left.

Do you miss the job? 

I loved my time there, honestly. I’d like to go back and maybe work seasonally. I do really miss the kids. But I don’t miss the drama.

Hookers and Congress …and Watergate? — That’s So 1970’s!

Ken AshfordCongress, Sex/Morality/Family ValuesLeave a Comment

WatergatehotelphotoBillmon:

I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the news (from Harper’s via TPM Muckraker) that Porter Goss, director of the CIA, may be implicated in a hooker service for corrupt (and horny) congressmen paid for by defense contractors and run out of — you really gotta love this part — the Watergate Hotel.

So what are we supposed to call this new scandal? Watergategate?

According to the Harper’s article, this scandal involves "pictures" as well, prompting DC gossip blogger Wonkette to gloat:

Best. Scandal. Ever.

Friday iPod Random Ten

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

EdmundfitzHaven’t done this in a while:

  1. Jive Talkin’ – Bee Gees
  2. In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel
  3. Luka – Suzanne Vega
  4. Mess Around – Ray Charles
  5. Taurus II – Mike Oldfield
  6. Live and Let Die – Paul McCartney
  7. It’s Too Late – Carole King
  8. Schadenfreude – Avenue Q
  9. What Child Is This – Vince Guaraldi
  10. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald – Gordon Lightfoot

Gas Profit Guzzlers

Ken AshfordCorporate Greed, Economy & Jobs & DeficitLeave a Comment

ChevronpricesOne day after Exxon Mobil announced huge profits, Chevron announced that its first-quarter profits were a record $4 billion.  That’s an increase of 49% over last year.

Fat bastards.

UPDATE:  The folks at The American Street think they know why gas prices are going up:

Kelliegas_1Kellie Pickler, who’d performed the ballad “Unchained Melody” during Tuesday night’s episode became the latest “Idol” wannabe to be ousted, sending oil prices soaring to a record $74 a barrel. “The market had been worried about Kellie,” Deborah White of SG SIB Commodities in Paris noted. “An underwhelming Elliott Yamin performance next week just might send it over $80.”

Porn Stars To Perform On Legitimate London Stage

Ken AshfordPopular CultureLeave a Comment

You have to hand it to Fox.  They’ve taken the "reality show" genre and come up with some pretty unique ideas.  Most realities shows suck, but this — well, it could be very amusing:

NEW YORK (Reuters) — A new television reality show invites porn stars to test their serious acting abilities in London’s theater district, raising the question: Debbie can do Dallas, but can she take on Chekhov’s "The Cherry Orchard"?

"My Bare Lady" will cast four leading ladies from U.S. porn studios in a classic piece of drama to be performed in London’s West End. Their experiences undergoing a crash course in acting and appearing before a discerning British audience will air in three episodes on the Fox Reality cable and satellite channels this fall.

"It’s a wonderful tale of redemption," said David Lyle, general manager of Fox Reality. "Do they want lines that are a little more challenging than ‘Oh, here’s the pool guy …’?"

Judicial Da Vinci Code Cracked

Ken AshfordCourts/LawLeave a Comment

A London judge, who ruled in the copyright infringement case involving Dan Brown’s "The Da Vinci Code", stuck an encoded message of his own within his 71-page judgment (in favor of Brown).

The code has been cracked.

RELATED:  Judges are not averse to being humorous.  This website catalogues some of the more interesting/weird/humorous works from those who sit on the bench.

Anatomy Of A Photo Op

Ken AshfordCongressLeave a Comment

The captions below each picture are taken verbatim from AP and Reuters (but the emphasis is mine).

Hastert1

U.S. House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL) speaks at a news conference on gas prices at a gas station in Washington, April 27, 2006. Hastert drove home his points by leaving the news conference in a pair of hydrogen-powered cars. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

Hastert2

House Speaker Dennis Hastert of Ill., left, sits in the passenger side of a hydrogen powered alternative fueled vehicle, drive by General Motors engineer, Mike Miller, after a news conference at a local gas station in Washington, Thursday, April 27, 2006 to discuss the recent rise in gas prices. Hastert and other members of Congress drove off in the Hydrogen-Fueled cars. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Hastert3

House Speaker Dennis Hastert of Ill., center, gets out of a Hydrogen Alternative Fueled automobile, left, as he prepares to board his SUV, which uses gasoline, after holding a new conference at a local gas station in Washington, Thursday, April 27, 2006 to discuss the recent rise in gas prices. Hastert and other members of Congress drove off in the Hydrogen-Fueled cars only to switch to their official cars to drive back the few blocks back to the U.S. Capitol. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

What A Pissing Contest About Book Sales Says About Approaches To Truth

Ken AshfordRight Wing Punditry/Idiocy1 Comment

It started yesterday with this report on Drudge, proclaiming that Crashing The Gate, the newly-released book by lefty bloggers Markos Zuniga ("Kos" of Daily Kos) and Jerome Armstrong (of MyDD), was doing terribly in terms of book sales.  According to Drudge’s source, Nielson’s Bookscan, CTG has sold only 3,630 copies.

In response, Kos pointed out that Bookscan only tabulates books sold in certain major retail outlets, and doesn’t track many independent book store sales — and doesn’t track online sale (like Amazon.com) at all.

But that didn’t deter author and rightwing blogger Roger Simon from crowing about the Drudge "revelation":

Although it underscores what we already knew – that Glenn Reynolds (whose book is selling much better) has remarkable respect in the blogosphere for his integrity and intelligence – I must say I am surprised at the relatively pathetic sales figures for Markos Zuniga’s book "Crashing the Gates."

Reynolds’ book is selling better?  Nope, and Simon failed to give any evidence for it.  He just … wrote it, as if it was, you know, verified and supported fact.

Fortunately, he was properly taken to task for it, using the same methodology as Drudge used:

As of this morning, for Reynolds’ An Army of Davids (February 2006), Bookscan reports 1716 retail sales and 2609 “discount” sales, for a total of 4325.

As of this morning, for Armstrong and Kos’s Crashing the Gate (March 2006), Bookscan reports 2598 retail sales and 1804 “discount” sales, for a total of 4402.

In other words, despite the fact that it’s been available for four fewer weeks, Kos and Armstrong’s book has now clocked Bookscan sales in excess of Reynolds’. Notably, several hundred more full-price sales. This is leaving aside the fact that Kos and Armstrong’s book is currently at #40 on Amazon, whereas Reynolds’ is at #801.

So there it is.  Kos and Armstrong’s book is outselling Reynold’s, yet Simon and the rest of rightwing echo chamber has, for the past 24 hours, been crowing the opposite.  [Tbogg reminds us how, generally, lefty blogger-authors are outselling righty blogger-authors in Amazon sales.]

Is this merely a pissing match between competing sides of the blogosphere? 

No, it isn’t.

Glenn Greenwald (whose unreleased book is #1 at Amazon.com, by the way) explains:

These twin items by Drudge and Simon — equally baseless, fact-free and misleading on their face — were mindlessly recited as fact by countless Bush followers all day yesterday. The always fact-free Powerline dutifully recited the claim that CTG "has sold an astonishingly low 3,630 copies," and even repeats Simon’s fantasy-driven fiction "that Glenn Reynolds’ book is selling well." Right Wing News drools: "it’s really nice to see Kos’s book nosedive into the pavement." The Bush zombie at BlogsFor Bush echoes the script: "I’ve stopped laughing long enough" to note that "there is no mention of the pathetic book sales of Kos’s book on the site’s front page." And PunditGuy, after celebrating the "failure" of CTG, says this:

Kos claims that Drudge’s numbers aren’t on the up and up. What-ev-eh.

Doesn’t that pretty much capture the whole sickness? "There are facts that suggest that what I am saying is not actually true. What is my response do that? ‘What-ev-eh.’" As in: "Some people claim there are facts that show that things in Iraq are not going really great. Something about civil war, sectarian hatred, anarchy, widespread violence, a total lack of security. What-ev-eh."

Glenn gets to the meat of the issue, and this is why he is widely considered one of the best writers on the Internet:

Don’t they have somewhere lurking in their brain any critical faculties at all? For the sake of one’s own integrity and reputation if nothing else, who would read an undocumented assertion on Drudge — no matter how much of an emotional need they feel for it to be true — and then run around reflexively reciting it as truth, writing whole posts celebrating it and analyzing it, without bothering to spend a second of time or a molecule of mental energy trying to figure out if it’s really true?

***

The way in which it became an instantaneous certainty that CTG is a failure (and Glenn Reynolds’s book is a grand success) — a "fact" that will endure in those circles forever, literally — reflects a process that repeats itself over and over, with a whole range of issues. That is the process that led us into Iraq and not only kept us there, but ensured that we remained immoveably wedded to policies which were so plainly producing nothing but horrendous failure. Being able to pick and choose what facts you want to believe based upon which ones feel good or vindicate your desires can be emotionally satisfying, but there is no more destructive and dangerous mental approach than this for determing how the world’s sole superpower will be governed.

Indeed.  Heh.

POSTSCRIPT (4/28/06):  Simon retracts and graciously apologizes for his factually incorrect post.