New “Sports”

Ken AshfordPopular Culture1 Comment

Competitive Eating is not a sport.  It may be a competition, but let’s not call it a "sport".  These people are not athletes.  They’re gluttons.  I don’t care if they win prizes; I don’t care if they "train" and have "coaches".  It’s a freak show, and a way to enter the Guinness Book of World Records.  That’s all; nothing more.

Chessboxing1Chessboxing may not be a sport either (not entirely, anyway) but unlike competitive eating, I think it is pretty intriguing:

The basic idea in chessboxing is to combine the no.1 thinking sport and the no.1 fighting sport into a hybrid that demands the most of its competitors – both mentally and physically.

In a chessboxing fight two opponents play alternating rounds of chess and boxing. The contest starts with a round of chess, followed by a boxing round, followed by another round of chess and so on. In every round of chess the FIDE rules for a ´Blitz game´ apply, in every boxing round the AIBA rules apply with the following extensions and modifications: In a contest there shall be 11 rounds, 6 rounds of chess, 5 rounds of boxing. A round of chess takes 4 minutes. Each competitor has 12 minutes on the chess timer. As soon as the time runs out the game is over.

A round of boxing takes 2 minutes. Between rounds there is a 1 minute pause, during which competitors change their gear. The contest is decided by: checkmate (chess round), exceeding the time limit (chess round), retirement of an opponent (chess or boxing round), KO (boxing round), or referee decision (boxing round). If the chess game ends in a stalement, the opponent with the higher score in boxing wins. If there is an equal score, the opponent with the black pieces wins.

Sign me up.

Doug Giles: Reprobate

Ken AshfordGodstuff, Right Wing Punditry/IdiocyLeave a Comment

Townhall columnist Doug Giles yesterday reprinted an obscene column he originally wrote in 2004.  It’s entitled "A Christian Can Be A Christian Or A Liberal, But He Can’t Be Both".  It begins this way:

Can a Christian be a liberal? Short answer: no. There is no way a Christian can buy into neo-liberal ideology and be faithful to the bigger-than-Dallas teachings of the scripture and expect to continue enjoying his hard-won religious liberties.

For the "Christian" to lean politically to the left means that he must blow off huge chunks of the Bible and replace the scripture with the make-believe notions of postmodernism’s malleable "Christ." Only after torturing the scripture can the Christian then fit liberalism into his supposed relationship with God.

For the Christian who believes that unfeigned faith in Christ should correspond with Jesus’ high view of scripture, it is impossible to believe in God and be an adherent to postmodern liberalism.

There’s so much to say about this.

But let’s start small:  What the hell does "bigger than Dallas teachings of the scripture" mean?

Also, it is interesting to note that Doug fails to cite ANY of the "huge chunks of the Bible" that liberal Christians "blow off".  He doesn’t even quote scripture at all.  That alone should be telling.

I’m not the most well-versed in the Bible, but off the top of my head, I can think of many passages and biblical tenets that conservatives routinely ignore.

Compare, for example, Bush’s tax policy (tax cuts going primarily to the wealthy) and Matthew 19:24 ("And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” )

In fact, in order to buy into conservative politics, you pretty much have to throw out the entire Sermon on the Mount ("Blessed are the peacemakers", etc.)

Giles’ entire column creates a strawman of nonsense, suggesting (for example) that "liberals" are engaging in "public attacks on churches".  Really?  Where? 

The notion that someone cannot be a Christian and a liberal is simply contrary to history and current events.  What was the name of that guy who spoke out against the Iraqi War?  Oh, yeah.  Pope John Paul II.  I believe he was a Christian.  Who spoke eloquently about racial harmony and diversity in this country?  Um, whats-his-name.  The Reverand Dr. Martin Luther King.  A Christian, too, yes?

Compare these men with Doug Giles himself.  Witness, for example Giles’ Jesus-like approach to the issue of immigration:

Now, having said that, let me address mi amigos that want to move into our amazing Land-O-Plenty:  Would you mind immigrating legally and learning English?  Because, you see, our legal citizens are getting increasingly fed up with your criminal relocation dreams.  That’s right.  Our American buddies on the Arizona, California, New Mexico and Texas borders are especially sick of . . .

• Having their land trashed like a hotel room after Motley Crew spent the weekend there.  [One Indian Reservation picks up trash to the tune of six tons a day.  Would you please stop that?  It’s rude, and it’s threatening the existence of a certain lizard and the Sonoran Pronghorn antelope.  Thanks.]• Having their ranches’ fencing routinely cut and vandalized.
• Having to pick up your pill bottles, used needles and syringes.
• Having to find the half eaten remains of their pets left from one of your impromptu BBQ’s.
• Having their homes burglarized.
• Having their daughters raped.
• Having their vehicles stolen.
• Having their property value plummet.
• Having their sedate streets become unsafe requiring their children to be placed under lock and key after sunset.
• Having to pick up and discard Muslim prayer rugs and literature strafed about the place.  [BTW . . . when did so many Catholic Mexicans convert to Islam?  I didn’t get that brief.  Would you explain that to me?] 
• Having the arduous and unpleasant chore of scraping human feces off their front lawns in the morning.

Call us Americans fastidious, but we no likey the aforementioned; and the above is not causing us to take a shining to your desires to resettle here.

I guess in Doug’s world, Jesus was a pea-brained bigot who bathed in stereotypes and lies.

But we know Doug’s type, don’t we?  The Bible sure does:

For there are many unruly and vain talkers and deceivers, specially they of the circumcision: Whose mouths must be stopped, who subvert whole houses, teaching things which they ought not, for filthy lucre’s sake.

One of themselves, even a prophet of their own, said, The Cretians are alway liars, evil beasts, slow bellies.

This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith;

Not giving heed to Jewish fables, and commandments of men, that turn from the truth.

Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled.

They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate.

(Tit 1:10-16 KJVA)

Ladies and gentlemen, Doug Giles.

American Idol: American Standards Week

Ken AshfordPopular Culture2 Comments

I thought last night’s show was the best of the season so far, and I had low expectations.  They were all (to varying degrees) very very good.  Especially the first three (Chris, Paris, and Taylor). 

The highest kudos from the judges went to Katharine who I thought, to use an A-Idol word, was actually a little bit "pitchy".

The worst performer was, sadly, Kellie.  She was ahead of the band, and off pitch, and just plain flat in a song that should be sultry.  If the voters vote based solely on the past week’s performance, she’s out of there.

Although, I would still like Ace to go next.

Bubba’s World

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

The Washington Post correctly notes that red states produce better American Idol contestants.

They also produce pretty stupid police:

7-Hour Standoff Ends; Police Discover Nobody In Home

OKLAHOMA CITY — A police standoff ended early Tuesday with metro police discovering there was nobody in the house they were monitoring.

A seven-hour standoff near Southeast 59th Street and Bryant Avenue started as a drug investigation of a home in the area. Officers said they were worried about activity in the house, and they called for a tactical team.

Worse Than Watergate

Ken AshfordBush & Co.Leave a Comment

Carl Bernstein, who knows a little bit about White House scandals, has written a piece for Vanity Fair calling for investigation into the Bush presidency:

How much evidence is there to justify such action? Certainly enough to form a consensus around a national imperative: to learn what this president and his vice president knew and when they knew it; to determine what the Bush administration has done under the guise of national security; and to find out who did what, whether legal or illegal, unconstitutional or merely under the wire, in ignorance or incompetence or with good reason, while the administration barricaded itself behind the most Draconian secrecy and disingenuous information policies of the modern presidential era.

Bernstein goes on to make the inveitable Bush-to-Nixon comparison, ending his article with this cold historical reminder:

There was understandable reluctance in the Congress to begin a serious investigation of the Nixon presidency. Then there came a time when it was unavoidable. That time in the Bush presidency has arrived.

Ouch.  Read the whole thing.

Purity Balls

Ken AshfordSex/Morality/Family ValuesLeave a Comment

PurityballYou know, sometimes it’s like I’m from another planet.  Because what other people find sweet, I find to be borderline creepy.

I’m finally reading about this new phenomenon known as a "Purity Ball".  It’s like a debutante party except, well, I’ll let PZ Myers explain:

Daughters gaze deeply into their father’s eyes and promise  "…to remain sexually pure … until the day I give myself as a wedding gift to my husband. … I know that God requires this of me … that he loves me. and that he will reward me for my faithfulness."

And the daddies’ pledge is even ookier:

I, (daughter’s name)’s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come.

"High priest in my home"?  Ugh.

Sounds like a joke.  As in "Hey, high priest of the home!  Will you get off the couch and take out the trash for once?"

But that’s not how some think.  Here’s a testimonial from Generations of Light magazine:

"How can you measure the value of your eleven year old looking up into your eyes (as you clumsily learn the fox-trot together) with innocent, uncontainable joy, saying, ‘Daddy, I’m so excited!’ wrote Wesley Tullis in a letter describing his grateful participation. ‘I have been involved with the Father-Daughter Ball for two years with my daughters, Sarah and Anna. It is impossible to convey what I have seen in their sweet spirits, their delicate, forming souls, as their daddy takes them out for their first, big dance. Their whole being absorbs my loving attention, resulting in a radiant sense of self-worth and identity. Think of it from their perspective: My daddy thinks I’m beautiful in my own unique way. My daddy is treating me with respect and honor. My daddy has taken time to be silly, and even made a fool of himself, learning how to dance. My daddy really loves me!"

Look, I think daddy-daughter bonding is great, and I can understand the appeal for little girls.  They get to dress up and spend time with their daddy.

But PZ is right in his commentary:

That is just so disturbing. Daddies of the world, keep your hands off your daughter’s sexuality, OK? Raise them to be independent and thoughtful and informed and able to make their own decisions, and then just trust them.

“I’m The Decider”

Ken AshfordBush & Co.Leave a Comment

Yeah?  Well, you’re making me the vomiter.

Seriously, this guy should never have been allowed to be within 100 feet of the White House, a Segway, a pretzel, or the English language.

Katrina Kids Sing Praises Of Bush, FEMA

Ken AshfordBush & Co., DisastersLeave a Comment

KatrinakidsFrom the Wall Street Journal:

At the annual White House Easter Egg Roll, children from the stricken Gulf Coast region serenaded First Lady Laura Bush with a song praising the beleaguered Federal Emergency Management Agency.

To the tune of “Hey Look Me Over,” about 100 young children from Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama sang:

“Our country’s stood beside us
People have sent us aid.
Katrina could not stop us, our hopes will never fade.
Congress, Bush and FEMA
People across our land
Together have come to rebuild us and we join them hand-in-hand!”

Wow.  How touching.

Apparently, the Bush-and-FEMA lovefest was slightly marred when one pale little boy meekly asked for "more".  He was immediately tackled by Secret Service agents and whisked away to an unknown location.  Unconfirmed reports state that the boy was later sold into indentured servitude.

Oliver_1

The Smithsonian-Showtime Deal

Ken AshfordPopular CultureLeave a Comment

If you like independent movies, especially documentaries, this should be a concern for you:

The Smithsonian Institution is an American treasure, attracting some 25 million visitors every year. It keeps an incredible archive of collections and has some of the most talented curatorial staff on the planet.

But last month, the Institution announced a joint venture with Showtime Networks to create a new television network. While at first blush the deal sounds like a creative way to raise much-needed funds, this deal is bad news. Two main problems:

1) The Institution refuses to disclose the deal they signed with Showtime, claiming it is a “business contract that does not involve federal funds.” Actually, the Institution is publicly chartered and receives 75 percent of its funding from federal appropriations or government grants and contracts.

2) Though details are murky, we do know that the arrangement gives the new joint venture a “right of first refusal” on key parts of the Smithsonian archives. In other words, filmmakers, historians, or others who might want to use certain Smithsonian materials could be blocked if Showtime executives say so. PBS documentarian Ken Burns called the policy “terrifying,” and said it “would have prohibited him from making some of his recent works.”

Over 200 concerned filmmakers, law professors, historians, archivists, Internet pioneers, and others have signed a letter asking the Smithsonian to annul the contract and hold public hearings. Also, the Center for American Progress has filed a Freedom of Information Act request asking that the contract be brought into the public eye.

Among those objecting to the deal are independent documentarians Ken Burns and Michael Moore.

UPDATE:  The New York Times covers the controversy.

The Friend Of My Friend Is My Enemy?

Ken AshfordIranLeave a Comment

I have a hard time keeping the players stright.

Bush wanted to let the United Arab Emirates to manage our ports.  He said that the UAE is a "committed ally in the war on terror".

So . . . UAE = "good guy", according to Bush.

Meanwhile, we’re all pounding our chests and beating the war drums because Iran is getting all nuked up, and that’s threatening to us.

So . . . Iran = "bad guy".

So far so good.  But then yesterday, according to an Iranian news agency, Iran’s Deputy Minister and the UAE’s Prime Minister met and celebrated the two countries’ great relations, which they both said they were committed to expanding "in all areas":

Deputy Foreign Minister Mehdi Mostafavi and Deputy Emir and Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates (UAE) Sheikh Mohammad ben Rashid al-Maktoum stressed Monday expansion of relations between Iran and UAE in all areas.

Mostafavi lauded al-Maktoum on his efforts in strengthening bilateral ties and invited him for a state visit to Tehran.

Mostafavi also briefed the Dubai’s ruler on the Iranians positions on Iraq and Palestinians developments, and described the trend of Iran-Russia talks on Tehran resolve in acquiring peaceful nuclear technology. . . .

Glenn Greenwald asks the right questions:

If Iran were really the Ultimate Terrorist Evil, the new Nazi Germany, would one of our "most committed allies in the war on terror" maintain such friendly relations with them? For a reasonable, moderate, responsible anti-terrorist country like the UAE to maintain such a close alliance with Iran, mustn’t there be some rationality and stability in the Iranian government?

And why is the UAE’s extreme hostility to Israel — to the point where it denies Israel’s right to exist and bans its citizens from entering the country — consistent with our close alliance with the UAE, but Iran’s extreme hostility towards Israel (admittedly with more inflammatory rhetoric) compels us to view Iran as the new Nazi Germany?

We We’re In Iraq

Ken AshfordIraqLeave a Comment

Our government has tons of websites, dispensing all kinds of information.  My favorite sites are the ones geared toward America’s youth.

I stumbled upon one today, in which our government tells young girls how to get over being dumped.  My favorite bit:

If you’ve just had a break-up and are feeling down, you’re not alone. Just about everyone experiences a break-up at sometime, and many then have to deal with heartbreak — a wave of grief, anger, confusion, low self-esteem, and maybe even jealousy all at once. Millions of poems and songs have been written about having a broken heart and wars have even been fought because of heartbreak.

Non-existent WMDs, heartbreak — it doesn’t take much to start a war these days.

The War Against Easter – Part II: The Bunny’s Revenge

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

I recently wrote how Christian conservatives are making noise about the supposed "War Against Easter". 

Apparently, it’s no joke.  The Easter Bunny has had enough, and he ain’t takin’ shit:

Easter Bunny mall brawl shocks bystanders

Some young children who saw the Easter Bunny this weekend at Edison Mall no longer see him as the lovable cuddly rabbit that delivers eggs and candy.

This 6-foot-2-inch, 280-pound bunny …is facing battery charges after he allegedly punched a woman in the back of the neck.

Read the whole thing.