I Must Be Getting Old

Ken AshfordPopular CultureLeave a Comment

I just saw a TV ad for Sprint.  They were offering a new phone.  It was called the "Sprint Music Store".

With this new phone — and phone plan — you can download songs directly to your cellular.  The TV ad featured Bon Jovi, but presumably you can download other artists.

That tagline informed me: "Now you can download music when you need it".

When you need it.

I’m 43 years old.  And so far, I don’t think there’s ever been a single moment when I needed music while I was on the phone.   Generally, if I am on the telephone, and I get the hankerin’ to hear a particular song, I’m usually able to fight off my natural tendencies for several hours and listen to the song at a more convenient time.

World’s Worst Person

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

(With apologies to Keith Olberman)

The award goes to Kurt Cass, a 16-year old fat bastard who beat up his grandmother with a two-by-four because she initially refused to give him $100 to buy beer:

Investigators say Cass went into his 60-year-old grandmother’s bedroom Thursday and asked her for $100 for beer. When she refused, he allegedly placed a razor blade on her throat and demanded she take him to the bank to get the money, deputies said.

She finally acquieseced, and drove with Kurt to the ATM at the gas station.  But then she sped off, leaving him there, and returning home.

"When the victim arrived back home she locked all of the doors," deputies reported. "The defendant arrived back home and kicked the front door in.

"Once inside the defendant grabbed a two foot 2×4 piece of wood and hit the victim numerous times on the back. The defendant then grabbed a three foot piece of 3 inch PVC pipe and hit the victim on her head, back, and legs numerous times. The defendant’s case worker arrived on scene and was able to hold him until law enforcement arrived."

Just So We’re All On The Same Page

Ken AshfordRandom Musings1 Comment

We think we’ll make this into a series.

(1)  It’s a "dog eat dog" world, not a "doggie dog" world, moron.

(2)  For Scrabble players: "Qa" is a word.  (It’s a Babylonian liquid measurement).

(3)  The models for Grant Wood’s American Gothic were Grant Wood’s dentist, and his sister.  The dentist is on the one on the left.

(4)  "Momentarily" means "for a moment", not "in a moment".  So if the flight attendent announces that the plane will be landing "momentarily", you should complain, because you won’t have enough time to disembark.

(5)  Stravinsky wrote "The Rite of Spring".  Just one rite.  You’ve been saying it wrong all these years.

(6)  Despite what clever people think, the word "hooker" predates the Civil War General Joseph Hooker.  And the word "crap" was in use prior to Thomas Crapper’s invention of the Valveless Water Waste Preventer.

(7)  According to some dictionaries, the word "literally" can mean the opposite of the word "literally".  In other words, "We literally had our eyes pinned to the TV during the Iraq War" is a proper use of the word.

The Incompetent President

Ken AshfordBush & Co., Health Care, IraqLeave a Comment

Focusing primarily on Bush’s disasterous Medicare program, WaPo’s editorialist Harold Meyerson has a few words to say:

Incompetence is not one of the seven deadly sins, and it’s hardly the worst attribute that can be ascribed to George W. Bush. But it is this president’s defining attribute. Historians, looking back at the hash that his administration has made of his war in Iraq, his response to Hurricane Katrina and his Medicare drug plan, will have to grapple with how one president could so cosmically botch so many big things — particularly when most of them were the president’s own initiatives.

In numbing profusion, the newspapers are filled with litanies of screw-ups. Yesterday’s New York Times brought news of the first official assessment of our reconstruction efforts in Iraq, in which the government’s special inspector general depicted a policy beset, as Times reporter James Glanz put it, "by gross understaffing, a lack of technical expertise, bureaucratic infighting [and] secrecy." At one point, rebuilding efforts were divided, bewilderingly and counterproductively, between the Army Corps of Engineers and, for projects involving water, the Navy. That’s when you’d think a president would make clear in no uncertain terms that bureaucratic turf battles would not be allowed to impede Iraq’s reconstruction. But then, the president had no guiding vision for how to rebuild Iraq — indeed, he went to war believing that such an undertaking really wouldn’t require much in the way of American treasure and American lives.

***

No such problems attended the creation of Medicare itself in the mid-1960s. Then, a governmental agency simply assumed responsibility for seniors’ doctor and hospital visits. But, financially beholden to both the drug and insurance industries, the Bush administration and the Repsublican Congress mandated that millions of Americans have their coverage shifted to these most byzantine of bureaucracies.

This is, remember, the president’s signature domestic initiative, just as the Iraq war is his signature foreign initiative.

How could a president get these things so wrong? Incompetence may describe this presidency, but it doesn’t explain it. For that, historians may need to turn to the seven deadly sins: to greed, in understanding why Bush entrusted his new drug entitlement to a financial mainstay of modern Republicanism. To sloth, in understanding why Incurious George has repeatedly ignored the work of experts whose advice runs counter to his desires.

More and more, the key question for this administration is that of the great American sage, Casey Stengel: Can’t anybody here play this game?

The White House Loooooves That “Executive Privilege” Thing

Ken AshfordBush & Co., DisastersLeave a Comment

Two days ago:

The White House was told in the hours before Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans that the city would probably soon be inundated with floodwater, forcing the long-term relocation of hundreds of thousands of people, documents to be released Tuesday by Senate investigators show.

A Homeland Security Department report submitted to the White House at 1:47 a.m. on Aug. 29, hours before the storm hit, said, "Any storm rated Category 4 or greater will likely lead to severe flooding and/or levee breaching."

….Other documents to be released Tuesday show that the weekend before Hurricane Katrina made landfall, Homeland Security Department officials predicted that its impact would be worse than a doomsday-like emergency planning exercise conducted in Louisiana in July 2004.

Yesterday:

The Bush administration, citing the confidentiality of executive branch communications, said Tuesday that it did not plan to turn over certain documents about Hurricane Katrina or make senior White House officials available for sworn testimony before two Congressional committees investigating the storm response.

…. In response to questions later from a reporter, the deputy White House spokesman, Trent Duffy, said the administration had declined requests to provide testimony by Andrew H. Card Jr., the White House chief of staff; Mr. Card’s deputy, Joe Hagin; Frances Fragos Townsend, the homeland security adviser; and her deputy, Ken Rapuano.

Mr. Duffy said the administration had also declined to provide storm-related e-mail correspondence and other communications involving White House staff members.

[Hat tip: Kevin Drum]

Recall, by the way, that Bush told the American people that we should do everything to determine what went wrong with the Katrina response and fix.  Now he’s not cooperating.

How Do You Mend A Broken Army?

Ken AshfordIraqLeave a Comment

“Stretched by frequent troop rotations to Iraq and Afghanistan, the Army has become a “thin green line” that could snap unless relief comes soon, according to a study for the Pentagon.”

That’s not good.  But Rick Santorum has a solution:

“What I am asking all of you tonight, is not to put on a uniform. Put on a bumper sticker. Is it that much to ask? Is it that much to ask to step up and serve your country, to fight for what we believe in.”

The Bush Administration Was Against A Lower Standard For Warrantless Wiretapping Before It Was For It

Ken AshfordWiretapping & SurveillanceLeave a Comment

This is big.

Again, Glenn Greenwald scores a hit.  As noted below, the Bush Administration (through Hayden) now explains that the reason that wiretaps were sought outside FISA was because it couldn’t meet the "probable cause" standard.

Glenn discovered an historical, documented problem with this argument.

In June, 2002, Republican Sen. Michael DeWine of Ohio introduced legislation (S. 2659) which would have eliminated the exact barrier to FISA which Gen. Hayden yesterday said is what necessitated the Administration bypassing FISA.  Specifically, DeWine’s legislation proposed:

to amend the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978 to modify the standard of proof for issuance of orders regarding non-United States persons from probable cause to reasonable suspicion. . . .

The Bush Administration submitted a statement, written by James A. Baker, the Justice Department lawyer who oversees that DoJ’s Office of Intelligence Policy and Review.

Did the Bush Adminsitration support the Dewine Amendment which would have lowered the standard of proof from "probable cause" to "reasonable suspicion"?

Hell, no!  Here are the exact words from the Statement:

The Department of Justice has been studying Sen. DeWine’s proposed legislation. Because the proposed change raises both significant legal and practical issues, the Administration at this time is not prepared to support it.

So, in June, 2002, the Administration refused to support elimination of the very barrier ("probable cause") which Gen. Hayden claimed yesterday necessitated the circumvention of FISA.

In doing so, the Administration identified two independent reasons for opposing this amendment.   You ready for this? 

Reason one:  the Justice Department was not aware of any problems which the Administration was having in getting the warrants it needed under FISA:

The practical concern involves an assessment of whether the current "probable cause" standard has hamstrung our ability to use FISA surveillance to protect our nation. We have been aggressive in seeking FISA warrants and, thanks to Congress’s passage of the USA PATRIOT Act, we have been able to use our expanded FISA tools more effectively to combat terrorist activities. It may not be the case that the probable cause standard has caused any difficulties in our ability to seek the FISA warrants we require, and we will need to engage in a significant review to determine the effect a change in the standard would have on our ongoing operations. If the current standard has not posed an obstacle, then there may be little to gain from the lower standard and, as I previously stated, perhaps much to lose.

Reason Two:  The Justice Department expressed serious doubts as to the constitutionality of the lower standard!

The Department’s Office of Legal Counsel is analyzing relevant Supreme Court precedent to determine whether a "reasonable suspicion" standard for electronic surveillance and physical searches would, in the FISA context, pass constitutional muster. The issue is not clear cut, and the review process must be thorough because of what is at stake, namely, our ability to conduct investigations that are vital to protecting national security. If we err in our analysis and courts were ultimately to find a "reasonable suspicion" standard unconstitutional, we could potentially put at risk ongoing investigations and prosecutions.

By that time, the Administration had already been engaging in eavesdropping outside of the parameters of FISA, and yet the DoJ itself was expressing serious doubts about the constitutionality of that eavesdropping and even warned that engaging in it might harm national security because it would jeopardize prosecutions against terrorists.

Glenn adds the following:

Two other points to note about this failed DeWine Amendment that are extremely important:

(1) Congress refused to enact the DeWine Amendment and thus refused to lower the FISA standard from "probable cause" to "reasonable suspicion." It is the height of absurdity for the Administration to now suggest that Congress actually approved of this change and gave it authorization to do just that — when Congress obviously had no idea it was being done and refused to pass that change into law when it had the chance.

(2) DeWine’s amendment would have lowered the standard for obtaining a FISA warrant only for non-U.S. persons — whereas for "U.S. persons," the standard would have continued to be "probable cause." And, DeWine’s amendment would not have eliminated judicial oversight, since the Administration still would have needed approval of the FISA court for these warrants.

That means that, in 3 different respects, DeWine’s FISA amendment was much, much less draconian than what the Administration was already secretly doing (i.e., (a) lowering the evidentiary standard, (b) eliminating judicial oversight, and (c) applying these changes not just to non-U.S. persons but also to U.S. persons). Thus, Congress refused to approve — and the DoJ even refused to endorse — a program much less extreme and draconian than the Administration’s secret FISA bypass program.

Cool

Ken AshfordWiretapping & SurveillanceLeave a Comment

"The Bush administration is bracing for impeachment hearings in Congress," Insight magazine reports.

"Sources said a prelude to the impeachment process could begin with hearings by the Senate Judiciary Committee in February. They said the hearings would focus on the secret electronic surveillance program and whether Mr. Bush violated the 1978 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act."

Said the source: "Our arithmetic shows that a majority of the committee could vote against the president. If we work hard, there could be a tie."

Insight Magazine, by the way, is the magazine supplement to the Moonie-owned conservative daily, the Washington Times.

But . . . wow.  Whatever.  Let’s get the show on the road.

Entertainment News

Ken AshfordPopular Culture1 Comment

Two Crappy Television Networks Go Off The Air In Order To Form One Really Crappy Television Network

NEW YORK (Reuters) – CBS Corp (NYSE:CBSAnews) and Time Warner Inc.’s (NYSE:TWXnews) Warner Brothers television network on Tuesday said they will close their respective UPN and WB networks and jointly launch the CW network.

Here’s our guess at the possible shows to premiere on the CW Network:

(1)  America’s Funniest Home Videos 2

(2)  Wild And Wacky Police Car Chases, Backwards!

(3)  The Upper Middle Class Black Family That Speaks In Nothing But Sexual Innuendo

(4)  Who Farted?

(5)  Police Cops

(6)  Police Cops: Miami Beach

(7)  Four’s Company

(8)  WWF Throw-down

(9)  Police Cops:  Prostitution Unit

(10)  Buffy, The Vampire Slayer – The Next Generation

(11)  The Washed-up Comedian, His Teenage Daughters, and the Boys That They Date

(12)  Torture, Inc. (starring Kiefer Sutherland)

Garden-Variety Wiretapping

Ken AshfordWiretapping & SurveillanceLeave a Comment

One of the reasonable defenses of the NSA wiretapping — perhaps the only reasonable defense offered by the neocons — was that the "wiretapping" simply wasn’t "wiretapping" as we know it.  According to conservative pundits, what the NSA was doing was emplying novel technologies which enable our intelligence boys to do "data-mining", where thousands (if not millions) of phone calls and emails are electronically monitored for key phrases which indicate potential terrorist activity.

Bush supporters argue two things with respect to this: (1) data-mining doesn’t fall within the "wiretapping statutes" such as FISA, because there is no specific "target"; and (2) even if it did, it would be virtually impossible to obtain warrants for hundreds of thousands of people.

Administration apologists further argue that the White House couldn’t seek congressional approval for this program because it utilized super advanced technology that we couldn’t risk exposing to al Qaeda.

These are all salient points, except for one thing:  it’s not "data-mining" that we’re talking about.  We learned this yesterday in no uncertain terms.

General Michael Hayden, the deputy director of national intelligence, defended the NSA’s domestic spying program yesterday:

Hayden stressed that the program "is not a drift net over Dearborn or Lackawanna or Freemont, grabbing conversations that we then sort out by these alleged keyword searches or data-mining tools or other devices that so-called experts keep talking about. This is targeted and focused."

So Hayden is saying that the NSA program isn’t some kind of large-scale data mining operation that the authors of the FISA act never could have foreseen. Rather, it’s "targeted and focused" and involves "only international calls and only those we have a reasonable basis to believe involve al Qaeda or one of its affiliates."

In other words, it’s precisely the kind of monitoring that the FISA court already approves routinely and in large volumes. Another few hundred requests wouldn’t faze them in the least.

With that canard properly plucked, we’re back to the original questions:  Why didn’t the Administration seek warrants from the FISA court, who would no doubt have approved them if there was indeed (as the Adminsitration assures us) a reasonable belief that the target was al Qaeda?  Was the Bush Administration merely being lazy, or were they engaging in wiretapping which they knew to be violative of the law and the Constitution?

Hayden provides insight to these questions as well.  According to Hayden, the reason the President wanted to bypass FISA was because FISA requires a showing of "probable cause" in order to obtain a FISA warrant for eavesdropping on telephone conversations, and the President believed that standard was too burdensome.  So the President issued an executive order:

The president’s authorization allows us to track this kind of call more comprehensively and more efficiently. The trigger is quicker and a bit softer than it is for a FISA warrant, but the intrusion into privacy is also limited: only international calls and only those we have a reasonable basis to believe involve al Qaeda or one of its affiliates. . . .

So we’ve gone from "probable cause" to the softer standard of "reasonableness".

When Hayden says that the President’s Executive Order allows eavesdropping using a standard that "is a bit softer than it is for a FISA warrant," what he’s saying, of course, is that the President ordered eavesdropping which FISA prohibits. FISA makes it a criminal offense to eavesdrop without a warrant from a FISA court, and Bush ordered eavesdropping without those warrants. Thus, Hayden claims that when NSA now wants to eavesdrop, it does not need to comply with FISA, but instead, has "two paths" to choose from:

If FISA worked just as well, why wouldn’t I use FISA? To save typing? No. There is an operational impact here, and I have two paths in front of me, both of them lawful, one FISA, one the presidential — the president’s authorization. And we go down this path because our operational judgment is it is much more effective. So we do it for that reason.

Sadly (for Bush supporters), Hayden is grossly mistaken.  There is no softer "second path".  Read Section 1809 of FISA, which expressly provides that "[a] person is guilty of an offense if he intentionally – (1) engages in electronic surveillance under color of law except as authorized by statute. . . .".   A presidential authorization, such as the one described by Hayden, is not a statute.

Need more?  Here’s the final nail in the coffin:  Section 2511(2)(f) provides that FISA "shall be the exclusive means by which electronic surveillance . . . may be conducted."

FISA, written in the wake of Nixon abuses of wiretapping, was unquestionably intended to be the absolute word on government electronic surveillance — i.e., when it can and can’t be done, and more importantly, how it is done.  It was all-encompassing.  By its very own terms, there is no "other way".

Glenn Greenwald has more thoughts, including this excellent summation:

In essence, what we have from the Administration, then, is the "Bad Law" defense to criminality: "I did break the law, but the reason I broke the law was because it wasn’t a very good law to begin with."

Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One Before

Ken AshfordIranLeave a Comment

Today:

Rice says time for talking with Iran is over

November 2003:

The Bush administration publicly refused to negotiate with Saddam. It demanded that he abide by U.N. resolutions that required Iraq to cooperate unconditionally with U.N. arms inspectors and make a full accounting of its illicit biological, chemical and nuclear weapons programs.

President Bush rejected Saddam’s assertions that he had no illicit weapons programs and declared that only the Iraqi leader’s unconditional surrender or departure from Iraq could avert war.

Fisher and Buttafuoco Reunion

Ken AshfordCrimeLeave a Comment

Tdy_lauer_amyfisher_041001300w Yup.  That’s right.  "Long Island Lolita" Amy Fisher (pictured right, from 2004) is going to have a reunion with the Buttafuoco family. 

The last time they met, way back in 1991 or so, Amy Fisher (then 16, and Joey Buttafuoco’s mistress) shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the face.   When all was said and done, Amy spent seven years in jail, Joey did some time for statutory rape, Mary Jo got her mug scarred for life, and the Buttafuoco’s got a divorce.

So that meeting didn’t go too well. 

Anyway, this time their reunion will be televised, so perhaps there will no gunplay.  But one can only hope.

The reason I bring this up is because of the absurd quote by Amy Fisher:

"It’s time to just put it behind us," Fisher, now 31, told the newspaper. "We played this all out in a public eye. It’d be interesting to let the public see the healing process at the end. They saw everything else — why not let them see the final product?"

Amy, dear, pull up a chair.  The Fisher-Buttafuoco story is a story that is over a decade old now.  Most people have forgotten about it, and the rest of us really don’t care.  I’m sorry if you and the Buttafuoco family feel you need to "put it behind us", but going on television to resurrect a long-dead story ain’t the way to do it.

Of course, we know what the real motivation here is, right?  It begins (and ends) with the letter "$".

Michael Moore? Or James Dobson?

Ken AshfordGodstuff, War on Terrorism/TortureLeave a Comment

I’ve been amused by Chris Matthews’ comment that bin Laden is like Michael Moore.  Others on the right have also said that bin Laden’s rants sound like it comes from lefties.

Oh, really?  Here are some direct quotes from bin Laden in his recent "Letter to America".   Assume, for this thought experiment, that all references to Islam, Allah, and the Koran are replaced with their Christian counterparts.  Now tell me if this sounds more like Michael Moore or more like James Dobson, Pat Robertson, etc.:

We call you to be a people of manners, principles, honour, and purity; to reject the immoral acts of fornication, homosexuality, intoxicants, gambling’s, and trading with interest.

…You separate religion from your policies, contradicting the pure nature which affirms Absolute Authority to the Lord and your Creator. You flee from the embarrassing question posed to you: How is it possible for Allah the Almighty to create His creation, grant them power over all the creatures and land, grant them all the amenities of life, and then deny them that which they are most in need of: knowledge of the laws which govern their lives?

…You are a nation that permits the production, trading and usage of intoxicants. You also permit drugs, and only forbid the trade of them, even though your nation is the largest consumer of them.

…You are a nation that permits acts of immorality, and you consider them to be pillars of personal freedom. You have continued to sink down this abyss from level to level until incest has spread amongst you, in the face of which neither your sense of honour nor your laws object.

Who can forget your President Clinton’s immoral acts committed in the official Oval office? After that you did not even bring him to account, other than that he ‘made a mistake’, after which everything passed with no punishment. Is there a worse kind of event for which your name will go down in history and remembered by nations?

You are a nation that permits gambling in its all forms.

Wow.  Government guided by, rather than separated from, a deity.  Opposition to sex (including gay sex), drinking, drugs, and gambling.  And a shot at Bill Clinton’s indescretion to boot.  Sounds like bin Laden’s brand of religious fundamentalism is pretty close to the American Taliban’s.

Why Democrats Should Be Talking Medicare

Ken AshfordHealth CareLeave a Comment

The Medicare issue is a gift to Democrats.  There are so many things wrong with it, that it is a wonder how it got passed.  Well, not really.  Consider the following:

  • It is the largest entitlement program in 40 years, with virtually no way to pay for it.
  • It is a massive giveaway to private corporate special interests.  How?  It forces millions of poor senior citizens out of Medicaid and into private plans subsidized by Medicare. It’s so complex precisely because it funnels people through the private sector.
  • The Bush Administration assured Congress it would cost no more than $400 billion over a decade. That number was a lie. The chief Medicare actuary knew it would cost more — at least 20% higher — but was forbidden by Bush appointee Thomas Scully from sharing his estimate with Congress.
  • Bad as it was, Republicans could not get the bill passed without breaking House rules and holding open the vote for an astounding three hours, ultimately eking out a victory shortly before dawn. Congressional scholar Norman Ornstein called it "the ugliest and most outrageous breach of standards in the modern history of the House."
  • During those three hours, Republican leaders indulged in all manner of threats and bribery. One holdout, then-Rep. Nick Smith (R-Mich.), later alleged that a member of the House leadership promised to raise $100,000 for his son’s congressional campaign to replace him if he’d support the bill.
  • Not only do fiscal conservatives hate it; but so do most Medicare-eligible recipients.

This is what happens when conservatives, who are opposed to entitlements anyway, are in charge of providing the safety net to Americans.