Category Archive

(With apologies to Keith Olberman) The award goes to Kurt Cass, a 16-year old fat bastard who beat up his grandmother with a two-by-four because she initially refused to give him $100 to buy beer: Investigators say Cass went into his 60-year-old grandmother’s bedroom Thursday and asked her for $100 for beer. When she refused, he allegedly placed a razor … Read More

We think we’ll make this into a series. (1)  It’s a "dog eat dog" world, not a "doggie dog" world, moron. (2)  For Scrabble players: "Qa" is a word.  (It’s a Babylonian liquid measurement). (3)  The models for Grant Wood’s American Gothic were Grant Wood’s dentist, and his sister.  The dentist is on the one on the left. (4)  "Momentarily" … Read More

What’s that?  You mean you haven’t heard it yet?  It’s the funniest blonde joke ever.

Some very smart men apparently have too much time on their hands: Scientists in Taiwan say they have bred three pigs that glow in the dark. They claim that while other researchers have bred partly fluorescent pigs, theirs are the only pigs in the world which are green through and through. The pigs are transgenic, created by adding genetic material … Read More

Might hit 70 degrees today.  How are things up north?

Chinese man is unable to be photographed: On January 6, 2006, Henan Province’s Dahe Daily newspaper reported that the local police department was unable to take an ID photo of Ye Xiangting from Yelou Village in the Yangzhuang Township of Wugang City, Henan Province. No image of Ye Xiangting showed up in the computer photos, and there is still no … Read More

A nineteen-year old kid is planning to spend $100,000 (his own money from his businesses) to live at Disneyworld for one year, and liveblogging his experiences.

Actual headline: One-Eyed Cat Had Medical Condition Gee, you think?

Telemarketers, as many know, work off a script.  It’s really a script flow chart so that they have a scripted response to whatever you say. Some clever person has devised a "counterscript" to be used by the consumer recipient of the telemarketers’ calls.  The script turns the conversation around, where you try to elicit information from the telemarketer.  Good idea.

From UK’s The Sun, the lede paragraphs: DOPY Gary Telford showed drunken pals how he caught his manhood in a mouse trap — and did it again. Pub manager Gary, 32, was in agony after the party piece went wrong. Amazingly it was the SECOND time he has been taken to casualty after getting his privates mangled in the stunt. … Read More

Read it.  Some samples…. From June: In disturbing medical news, a new study of 1,000 Americans finds that obesity in the United States has gotten so bad that there actually were, upon closer scrutiny, only 600 Americans involved in the study. From November: President Bush, needing to make another appointment to the Supreme Court, conducts a thorough and painstaking investigation … Read More

The Talent Show looks at today’s major newspapers across the country, some of which carry the banner that the miners were found alive, and some of which actually get the story right. What amuses me (well, "amuses" isn’t the right word, but you know what I mean) is how the same photos are used to convey the entirely opposite outcomes.  … Read More

They may have discovered Mozart’s skull.

A cat dials 9-1-1 to help his stricken owner