Best Obit Ever

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

From the Chicago Tribune published on 10/10/05 (hat tip: AmericaBlog): Theodore Roosevelt Heller, 88, loving father of Charles (Joann) Heller; dear brother of the late Sonya (the late Jack) Steinberg. Ted was discharged from the U.S. Army during WWII due to service related injuries, and then forced his way back into the Illinois National Guard insisting no one tells him … Read More

Question Of The Day

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

Shakespeare’s Sister is shooting off this blog question: What movie scenes always make you cry? There are a couple, but the only one that comes to mind is a bit of an embarassment: The hospital scene at the end of She’s Having A Baby where Kevin Bacon is waiting for his wife Elizabeth McGovern to, you know, have a baby, … Read More

Rapture Checklist

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

Tsunami?  Check. Hurricane?  Check. Flood?  Check. Global Warming?  Check. Earthquake?  Check. Landslide?  Check. Plague?  Check. Volcano?  Volcano?  Volcano?    Ah, there you are.

Just Wondering…

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

Why is it that whenever I see a picture of Bill Gates speaking at some press conference or symposium, he always looks like he’s singing a ballad in a Broadway musical? "Rivers belong where they can ramble…."  Bill Gates wonders if he will ever find his "Corner Of The Sky"

Short Bites

Ken AshfordBush & Co., Democrats, Random MusingsLeave a Comment

Jimmy Carter has a son? What Matt says Ever said "There oughta be a law…."?  Here’s your chance… Um, why? With this avian flu thing hanging over us, is it really a good idea to intentionally reconstruct a 1918 flu virus that killed 50 million people?

The Dysons

Ken AshfordRandom Musings, Science & TechnologyLeave a Comment

Geeks are very excited about this lecture — now sold out — in which three members of Freeman Dyson’s family (including Freeman himself) are giving a joint lecture.  I have a special connection to this event — I dated one of Professor Dyson’s daughters many years ago, and met him briefly a few times.  I consider myself a reasonably smarty … Read More

Friday’s Random “Titles I Made Up For The Paintings They Just Hung On My Floor At Work”

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

"A House, And It’s Snowing" "Autumn" "Country Boy Standing In A Swamp For Some Reason" "A Bunch Of Seashells In Front Of A Couple Of Windows" "Strange Lady (Badly In Need Of A Hairdresser) On Her Porch" "Another House – Gee, That’s Original" "Abandoned Boats" "A French Fop, A Lady From the Folies Bergere, And Spilled Paint" "Poster From What … Read More

Friday Random Vogon Poetry

Ken AshfordRandom Musings1 Comment

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon See if I don’t. – Vogon Captain [For those of you who don’t know…. Vogon poetry is of course, the … Read More

Close Shaves

Ken AshfordRandom MusingsLeave a Comment

About thirty years ago, there was a very popular commercial for a double-track razor — a disposable razor with two blades.  Demonstrated through a fake-y cartoon close-up of a man’s cheek, gullible consumers were informed that the double razor was better.  Why?  Because the first blade pushes the whisker forward, priming it for the death hack from the second razor … Read More

The Apocalypse

Ken AshfordBush & Co., Disasters, Random MusingsLeave a Comment

Well, let’s see. The death toll from Katrina is rising.  Snakes, gators and corpses are floating around in New Orleans, making the second evacuation difficult.  Attempts to fix the breaks in the New Orleans levees have failed.  There are whitecaps on Canal Street.  Prisoners stranded in a New Orleans prison have rioted, taking a deputy, his wife and their four … Read More